Truths About How Fat Michael Moore IsEdit

• Keeps KFC financially viable.
• Is a Bearconomist.
• He's getting busted for making shitty movies in Cuba.
• He makes shitty movies in Hollywood.
• He makes shitty movies everywhere.
• Opposes a grassroots kakistocracy, and is a typical liberal elitist.
• He has never made any good movies. Except for maybe Canadian Bacon. That was a half decent documentary, and he didn't have to upset Charlton Heston to do it. And you know how likes to fight with old men.
• He hates America and makes The Baby Jesus cry.
• He visits his good friend Lawrence Eagleburger to eat Eagleburgers. The bastard.
• He likes to harvest American children and sell them to Manitoba where they are brainwashed and slowly transformed into Communists.
• He is living proof that a spiritual power exists, one that allows mountains to move, and earthquakes to happen whenever he takes a step.
• He is the only American who is beloved in France. Well, him, Jerry Lewis, and Kermit the Frog.
• He is the Communist Ambassador to the UN, also known as NAMBLA
• He is president of the Democratic party, also known as NAMBLA
• He is a wanna-be member of the Film Actors Guild, also known as FAG, also known as NAMBLA
• Michael Moore loves bears and Democrats, also known as NAMBLA
• He is the head of SPECTRE (NAMBLA acronym with French words), and is the nemesis of James Bond.
• He has a motherf@#$ing demon in one of his motherf$%^ing stomachs.
• He is the president of NAMBLA, also known as UNICEF
• He weighs more than you do. Guaranteed. Don't argue with me, just believe it.
• He can only be weighed on Truck Stops.
• He had to change his pants and get his heart re-replaced after being asked by Stephen to go on his show. He was that stunned.
• He has his own personal "heart attack stopper" kit. He carries it with him every day, and has to use it at least twice an hour.
• Stuffs his bra (not that he needs to)
• Has man-boobs...huge ones.
• Leni Riefenstahl + fatness = Michael Moore.
• He is secretly stalking Stephen in order to make a biased documentary about him.
• He is the inspiration for many end boss battles including that fat baby at the end of Halflife 1
• His newest movie, Sicko describes the source of trouble for the American Health System - centered on himself and the massive belly that consumes all and his weak heart hardened by concrete-like fat due to all those French Fries.