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The MTV

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The MTV



TheMTVlogo
Full Network Name The MTV
Transmission Cable, Satellite
Availability America, Canada, Mexico
Year Founded 1981
Corporate Owner

The MTV Networks (Viacom)

Types of Programs Everything but music videos
Sister Networks VH1
MTV2
MTVHD
Most Popular Programs Total Request Live
The Pre-Taped Real World
Most Popular Celebrities Martha Quinn
Beavis
Butthead





The MTV is a cable television music video channel that doesn't play music videos. It's also known amongst smart people (aka Heroes) as Moron Television.


Overview Edit

Launched in the 1980's with the purpose of warping the minds and morals of America's youth through constant repetition of sexually-charged Madonna and Duran Duran music videos, it later changed tactics and now warps the minds and morals of America's youth through constant repetition of sexually-charged shows like Road Rules, The Real World: Yet Another City, My Sweet 16 (who gives a shit about spoiled-ass brats) and the shockingly titled Pimp My Ride!

The MTV's mission is to transform our Nation's angelic children into pimps and hos, where all that matters is the Benjamins and knocking boots.

If forced to watch The MTV, heroes are advised to sing Psalms and think about The Baby Jesus. If a hero isn't religious, just thinking about Stephen draped in the American flag will do.

FactoidsEdit

  • The first music video played on The MTV was Stephen and the Colberts' Charlene (I'm Right Behind You). Everything else they've aired since then has been total and utter retarded bullshit.
  • The MTV seduced many youthful Americans by using musical geniuses like Sting in their early ad campaign "I want my The MTV!"
  • Early The MTV VJ Martha Quinn is a hell-sent succubus.
  • According to Dr. Colbert, MTV airs crap programming for slow teens
  • The MTV is also referred to as MTZ by a certain segment of talking goats.
  • MTV became gay after they premiered The "maN tOuch"

See AlsoEdit

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