Louis Riel

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

[edit] Louis Riel

Louis Riel (French: pronounced "Sad-Damn Hugh-Sane") was born in Canada's Communist Red River Settlement in Manitoba in 1844. He eventually became Dictator of the region by imposing iron-fist rule over the Cheese-Kurd (Metis: 1/2 Native and 1/2 French) and Horse-Shiite (Metis: 1/2 French and 1/2 Native) factions.

[edit] Rebellion of 1885

The Northwest Mounted Police liberated Western Canada by quelling a rebellion headed by Riel in 1885. The Mounties invaded Saskatchewan knowing that he had accumulated a cache of WMDs (Weapons of Minor Destruction -- muskets, spears and bear traps). Reil was found by the Mounties hiding unarmed in a beaver hole. He surrendered and was put on trial for treason.

[edit] Death to the Infidel

After a short, yet fair and balanced hearing, Riel was executed by hanging. A witness in the hangman's chamber smuggled in a portable darkroom, 23 glass-plate negatives, and a wax phonograph cylinder under his waistcoat to record the event. The video appeared the next day on The Internets. Riel is considered to be a martyr by that other Liberal - Communist bastion of Canada -- Quebec.