London

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London
has bad teeth and a funny accent because it is British.


London is the capitol of Great Good Britain. It's pronounced Lundun by the locals for some weird reason, possibly because of over-exposure to pollution from the Tube (subway system).

London is about the size of New York City, but is full of old stuff and guys in big penis-shaped hats. It was almost destroyed during World War 2 by the nazis, but was saved at the last minute by brave American heroes. London is the host city of the 2012 Summer Olympics. The Running of the Jew during the games will take place in the London Underground.

[edit] The American Tourist's Guide to London

Stay away; we don't want you here anyway. -Londoner

  • Big Ben - an old clock tower which isn't as big as it sounds
  • Buckingham Palace - where the Queen lives, protected by her fearsome furry-headed guards
  • Hyde Park - the biggest park in London, but a pitiful spot of grass when compared to Central Park
  • Leicester Square - pronounced Lie-chester Square, a place where tourists go to be bored and underwhelmed
  • Nelson's Column - a big stone phallus celebrating another French surrender to the Brits
  • The London Eye - a giant ferris wheel where Big Brother (also known as communist London Mayor Red Ken) lives
  • A load of boring museums - best avoided

[edit] Famous Residents



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