Liberace
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
We report, you decide.
Liberace was a famous American pianist and the Grand Poobah of Las Vegas. After moving westward from the dazzling celebrity metropolis of Wisconsin, he originally lived in San Francisco but was kicked out for being too macho.
After struggling as a classical pianist, Liberace decided to only perform classical music with the boring parts left out. For most people that would equate to silence. But to Liberace it meant gay musical showboating. The tactic brought him commercial success, but he never knew the satisfaction of playing Darth Vader's Dick Cheney's Imperial March.
| I play classical music with the boring parts left out.
| 
|
A formidably talented entertainer, he long held the record for the largest attendance of sweet little old ladies AND gays at a single concert. This record has since been surpassed by Justin Timberlake.
[edit] Factoids
- An urban legend persists to this day that Liberace was only 9 inches tall.
- Liberace had a phobia of toilets, a feeling which by all accounts was reciprocated by every toilet he came into contact with.
- His popularity caused the population of elephants in Africa to plummet, as hunters there tried to keep up demand for ivory piano keys. Since his death the African elephant population has increased by 50,000%.
- Liberace was the original Count Chocula, but was fired for being too gay.
- He is America's Elton John.
- Liberace allegedly had a brief affair with the disgusting pacifist deviant frog Kermitt during a guest appearance on The Muppet Show.
