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Leave it to Beaver


Leave it to Beaver (LITB) was the first reality television show broadcast on the American airwaves. LITB aired from 1957 through 1963.

Unlike contemporary reality television programs, LITB was filmed prior to when liberals and the Blame America First Crowd rose to prominence in the late-1960s. Accordingly, LITB focused on an American family from the 1950s with good values. LITB was also staunchly anti-Communist.

CastEdit

Theodore "Beaver" CleaverEdit

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver is the youngest child of the Cleaver family. Beaver became the breakout star of the show due to his truthy actions and expressions portrayed on the program.

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"Went to school. Ate lunch. Saw dead cat. Came home."
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~ Actual entry in Beaver's diary demonstrating his lack of reliance on his brain


Beaver has never read a book and thinks only with his gut despite admonishment from his father to "learn his lessons." Like all good gut-thinking Americans, Beaver knows to distrust Wally's Communist friend, Eddie Haskell. (See below.)

Ward CleaverEdit

Ward Cleaver was an archetypal father of the 1950s. As such, Ward spent most of his time working and engaging in social activities with his friends while leaving the household activities and the raising of his children to his wife. fuk

June CleaverEdit

June Cleaver was the mother of the Cleaver family. June acted as an ideal mother by wanting nothing more than to stay at home and take care of her family. June always busied herself in the kitchen yet she was rarely seen outside of a nicely pressed dress, pearls, and heels.

Wally CleaverEdit

Wally Cleaver is Beaver's older brother. Much of Wally's time is spent trying to make explanations or cover for his un-brainy brother.

Eddie HaskellEdit

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"[Eddie] is so polite, it's almost un-American."
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~ Ward Cleaver


Eddie Haskell acted as Wally Cleaver's best friend, but in reality was a Communist spy and terrorist from Russia. Haskell tried to infiltrate the famous reality TV family, the Cleavers, in order to help Russians learn more about true Americans.

Haskell became known for his neat grooming and politeness to hide his sneaky character. Typically, Haskell would greet his friends' parents with overdone, good manners so as to not betray his secret Russian identity.

Fortunately, the Cleaver parents were aware of Haskell's Russian identity and refrained from revealing any American secrets from him, such as June Cleaver's recipe for Apple Pie.

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"Your father doesn't like me...On account of the way he looks at me when he opens the door. Sometimes I think he'd be happier to see Kruschev standing there."
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~ Eddie Haskell expressing concern that the Cleaver parents discovered his true identity


LegacyEdit

Factonistas would have you believe that the reality show, LITB, was not a true representation of America in the 1950s and early 1960s. Instead, these liberal subversives argue that LITB glossed over the problems facing American society.

Because reality television programs are always truthy, these factonistas clearly have things wrong. The 1950s were an ideal time in God's country, and the factonistas are afraid of returning to the values of that era.

Today, no shows contain Family Values like LITB. Fortunately, reruns of LITB are broadcast occasionally frequently on television. True Americans know to watch Beaver to learn American values.

FactoidsEdit

NewBeaver

Contemporary picture of Beaver stars

  • The stars of Leave it to Beaver currently serve on the President's cabinet to help promote Family Values.
  • Leave it to Beaver is Fonzie's favorite show.

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