Larry King
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Contrary to popular belief, Larry King actually died 20 years ago in 1987 from a major heart attack. Instead of doing what would have been the respectful thing on Mr. King's behalf, CNN brought Mr. King back into the CNN studios for fear of a catastrophic plummet of ratings following Mr. Kings absence. He is now a mere dried, tattered, and shriveled up vessel of his former self, propped up only by a pair of sophisticated elastic suspenders at his anchor chair.
Most of the lip movement is digitally applied in post production. Any and all audio now being emitted from Mr. King is the product of something that can only be described as an advanced networking of past archived sound bites.(much like the primitive Samuel L. Jackson soundboards)
Unlike the finer days of the past, Mr. King no longer bothers with excruciating journalistic techniques. Hard hitting questions and holding guest's feet to the fire would draw too much attention to this lifeless corpse. Thus, he is now perhaps more famous for his softball questions covered in a tasty layer of cotton candy to liberal guests.
Due to Mr. King's unique condition, he is only able to work in a sterile studio.
[edit] Appearance On The Colbert Report
On the March 1, 2007 edition of The Report, Mr. King appeared as Stephen's guest to criticize Stephen's interviewing techniques. During the interview Mr. King scoffed Stephen for doing his job by not letting the guest talk for more than seven seconds. Based upon Mr. Kings interview style it can be concluded that Mr. King is one of the lazyiest interviewers on TV.
