Larry Craig
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Idaho's Larry "Happy Feet" Craig is a superstraight guy who is proud to have been in America's Senate for the last seventeen years and regrets his sudden need to spend time with his family.
Mr. Craig made his announcement on the same day Alberto Gonzales announced his resignation as The Greatest Attorney General Ever, despite visiting the democrat trap disguised as a bathroom nearly 2 months before. Republican Senator Craig regrets this unfortunate turn of events, especially the timing. Idaho wishes you well, sir!
Idaho governor C.L. "Butch" Otter told everyone he stands behind Republican Senator Craig, just not too close behind, and regrets that he may have to select a replacement for Mr. Craig, if and when the time comes to do so.
Butch also wanted to reiterate to all America that at no time has Idaho ever had an airport, or public bathrooms. Rumors of such things existing in Idaho are scurrilous.
[edit] Mr. Craig's Values
First off, Mr. Craig, like all Republican leaders, is not gay. He just has a very wide stance.
[edit] Mr. Craig's Work in The Senate
Completely not gay.
[edit] Mr. Craig's Lifelong Battle Against The Forces of Homosexuality
Not gay, no way!
[edit] Mr. Craig's Work For Mitt Romney
Had nothing to do with him being gay...I mean he's not gay!
His job was to plunge into the unsanitary Presidential candidate crap-shoot, find what matters, peer through the cracks of uncertainty, and root out anyone who stool money from Mitt's ample financial bowels.
[edit] Mr. Craig's Future Work
Mr. Craig held a press conference to emphasize his not being gay, in factiness, he said,
| I am not gay, I have never been gay
| 
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Mr. Craig also wanted everyone to know that he doesn't intend on becoming gay either.
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| I Da Ho!
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[edit] Mr. Craig's Hobbies
- Visiting American airports
- Tap dancing
- Loving
lifehis wife
[edit] admonishment
In 2008 Craig was admonished by a Senate panel.
He soon after asked if he could be admonished by a Senate paddle. [1]
[edit] Larry Craig's favorite poles polls
[edit] 2008 Update!
The Ultra Hetero Senator Craig is looking for summer interns and pages.
Sign your son up today (girls need not apply)[2] [3]
[edit] Guess What?
[edit] Larry's New Job
Larry Craig, formerly of Idaho, has opened a Washington consulting firm to work as an energy lobbyist.
Mr. Craig is expected to tap into his deep knowledge of the hot oil industry to plunge into unexplored territory. [5]
[edit] See Also
- bathroom
- Mile High Toilet Club
- Troy King
- Bob Allen
- Mark Foley
- Future Born Again Christians Club
- Revolving Door
- I May Have Had Sex With Larry Craig
