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Other States

KANSAS, the worst state
Capital:	The Gay Bar
State Flower:	Any With a Gay Picture
Official Language:	Spanish
State Bird:	Gayhawk
State Motto:	"let there be gay guys"
Nickname:	"Earth's Hell"
Governor:	Hitler
State Anthem:	Dust in the Wind
Population:	Gays
Standard MPH:	5 Over
Principal imports:	Ecuador
Principal exports:	Gays
Principal industries:	Wheat, not to be confused with weed.
Fun Fact # 1:	It's flat. Really, really flat.
Fun Fact # 2:	Kansas is the gayest state in the nation.

Kansas (also known as "Missouri's Portugal", "Colorado's Spain", "Nebraska's South Korea", "Oklahoma's North Korea", "Texas's Kazakhstan", "California's Sudan", or "Maine's Hawaii"), often misconstrued as "in the middle of nowhere", is in fact lower and off to the right a little from the middle of nowhere. One can find Ecuadorian alcohol almost anywhere in the state, so long as you go searching before 11pm (except on Sundays)! Marijuana is also plentiful, and there are plenty of gay bars. If you venture to Topeka, the capital of this gay state, you will find one of the highest crime rates per capita in all of the United States, mostly as a result of the high amount of Meth labs. Outside of Topeka the crime rate drops like a stone due to the number of farmers with shotguns and dogs with a taste for Ecuadorian ass.

One final important aspect of Kansas is the numerous wheat fields. To the right, you can see what some fine Kansas citizens think of such fields.

Welcome to Kansas, the gayest state in the nation. Kansas is where such gayfish like Justin Bieber and Kanye West were born in. If you are just driving through this state,you're straight, if you are heading back to Colorado or Missouri, you're straight, If you are moving here or if you already live here, you are gay. Everything's gayer in Kansas. So, have a GAY time!!

~ Kansas

Contents 1 Discovery 2 History 3 Achieving Statehood 4 Kansas Today 5 Kansas Landmarks 6 A Typical Day In Kansas 7 Why Colorado is better 8 Famous Kansans 9 Famous Kansans 10 External Links

DiscoveryEdit

Gay Ecuadorians

HistoryEdit

First, some gay Ecuadorians needed to immigrate to the United States. So they traveled north through the Gulf of Mexico until they reached Texas. However, the straight cowboys didn't approve of gay people, so the cowboys sent the gay Ecuadorians to the land between Colorado and Missouri. They named it Kansas, which is Spanish for "Ken's anus". They grew tons and tons of wheat fields, so they can be gay in private.

Achieving StatehoodEdit

By changing the meaning of the word gay from "happy" to "homosexual".

Kansas TodayEdit

• Hasn't had a decent song since "Carry On (My Wayward Son)"
• Kansas, as boring and gay as you think.

Kansas LandmarksEdit

The Worlds Largest Ball of Twine is considered one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

A Typical Day In KansasEdit

Eating, sleeping, gay sex

Why Colorado is better Edit

• Rocky Mountains
• Not so many wheat fields
• Elitch Gardens
• GameForce game store
• Denver
• impending Invasion of Utah

Famous KansansEdit

Famous KansansEdit

• Dwight Eisenhower: President of here
• Bob Dole: Viagra Spokesman
• Kirstie Ally: Formerly Hot Girl on Cheers
• Kathleen Sebelius, current governor and handmaiden of Barack Hussein Obama

External LinksEdit

• Charitable Organizations in Kansas
• Kansas slavery cheap labor is over... "This is communism!" declared local business owner