Joseph McCarthy
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Senator Joseph McCarthy of Wisconsin was the most feared man in the United States during the early 1950s. McCarthy is famous for hating the communists, and making all of the politicians afraid of him. He waged a Salem Witch Hunt-like crusade to destroy all Communists within the United States.
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[edit] Early Life
McCarthy was born on November 14, 1908. While he was young he had a terrible optical condition; as a result, he could only see the color red.
After what we did accusing people about being communist, he was hanged and killed.
[edit] Red Hunts
By 1951, McCarthy decided that, with his newfound power, he could finally accomplish his goal of ridding the United States of all red by systematically destroying all communists residing within the United States. McCarthy became one of the most powerful Republicans by doing so.
[edit] House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC)
McCarthy went about accomplishing his goal of systematically ridding America of communism using HUAC. He would target a specific branch of America and bring in known communists.
Targeted areas include:
Once one was brought into their public hearings, one was given the choice of being a communist or giving the names of some of one's friends who may just be communist.
[edit] The Lists
During meetings of HUAC, McCarthy would frequently wave lists that had names of communists scrawled on them. McCarthy never allowed anyone to touch his lists, saying:
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No one ever found any of these lists, nor were any of the names on the lists ever verified to be names, nor was McCarthy ever sober.
[edit] The Public Hearings
The communist pigs would walk into a small room — only to be met by McCarthy and his fellow upstanding republican friends. They would then blacklist the communist pigs as communists if they didn't give them the names of their friends. McCarthy would then call in all of the friends and get their friends. Little did McCarthy know that he was creating the same system that would one day begin MySpace.
Much like his close friends J. Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn, he was posthumously accused of being gay by the liberal media as retribution for his hard work in saving America from red ruin. He has also been accused of bullying innocent witnesses, such as Annie Lee Moss, who he got confused with another woman of the same name who was, in fact, a Communist. We know she was nonetheless guilty, however; if she wasn't a commie, what was she doing using a commie's name, hmm?
All was going well for McCarthy while he was targeting the people of America, but as soon as he began targeting the military he lost all support from the people, making it so that non-junior senators would no longer be afraid of censuring him in the Senate.
[edit] Politicians' Responses to McCarthy's Actions
All politicians were afraid of McCarthy. No one could touch him because he could just call them a communist and then they would not be reelected. However it was feeding time as soon as no one cared about McCarthy anymore. Fortunately for us, respected contemporary historians such as Ann Coulter and Jonah Goldberg have dedicated their lives to improving their book sales the historical record by redeeming McCarthy's name; they know in their gut that everyone McCarthy accused was guilty, or at least looked like they could have been guilty, which is all the proof a court should ever need.
