Joe Scarborough
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Added by ColbericanAlong with Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity, Joe Scarborough is one of the "Pretty Republicans". To that end, he is frequently hit on by male and female staffers of The Daily Show
Joe used to have a show called Scarborough Country, but even following Keith Olbermann's Countdown did not improve it's abysmal ratings. Joe was moved to a morning slot and his show is now called Morning Joe. You need to listen to Joe in the morning to wake up! Yesiree, he'll get your blood to boiling!
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July 19, 2006 Nailing
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On July 19, 2006, he was appointed Vice-President of the Colbert Nation after making Stephen Colbert Arch-Duke of Scarborough Country and promising to show no less than 10 total minutes of The Colbert Report clips on his show every night.
Joe was also the first guest of The Report to realize the show is broadcast from the crown of the Statue of Liberty.
October 8, 2008 NailingEdit
- admitted he took money from Jack Abramoff
- might reveal something about his relationship with Bill Ayers
- he has meaty, sausage-like fingers
- talks about Barack Obama's relationship with William Ayers
- what John McCain has to do to win
- Joe says it's too late
- he has been changed by MSNBC
- doesn't think the Iraq war hurt the GOP
- believes it goes back to Hurricane Katrina
- likes Sarah Palin
- He called her a rock star, you betcha!
- if the vote were closer 1-2% race (instead of 5, 6, 7% difference) Palin would draw out the base
- Dr. COlbert predicts McCain will pull it out via magic!
FactoidsEdit
- Scarborough is not retarded. In fact, his I.Q. has tripled in the last six months, and you can look that up!
- Shoots hoops on Fridays with Stephen, is unstoppable in the paint.
- One of Newt Gingrich's troops in the 1994 Republican Revolution.
- Nailed by Stephen for accepting money from Jack Abramoff when he was a Republican congressman.
- Helps converts gays, like Jason Jones, to heterosexuality by coaching them in the ways of "getting some hot Conservative tail."
- Like a true American Patriot, Scarborough trashed the ant-American Commie liberal Rosie O'Donnell for daring to question the government's theory about 9-11
- Secretly in love with Stephen
- hosts a morning show with Zbigniew Brzezinski's little girl, Mika
- Finds reasons to attack Bill O'Reilly, possibly due to his love affair with Keith Olbermann
- Was brutally attacked by that filthy Brit John Oliver while he was on the air.
- Works for liberals (that explains why he is sometimes asked by guests if Bush is stupid).
- Also explains why he followed Tim Russert's orders to cancel an appearance by Arianna Huffington on his show, because she offended Timmeh.
- Told by liberal commie host Keith Olbermann to "get a shovel" when he tried to explain how well true American and war hero John McCain's campaign was going.
- co-host Mika's daddy called Joe "stunningly superficial" and an "embarrassment"
- You know you are a liberal if it bothers you that you can't see Joe's eyes.
