Jim Bunning
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James Paul Danger Bunning (born December 25, 1852) is the Junior United States Senator representing the Commonwealth of Kentucky. He is notable in that he is currently the only person ever man enough to be a U.S. Senator, and be in the National Baseball Hall of Fame.
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Beginnings
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Jim Bunning was born in Grefferville, the geographic center of the Commonwealth of Kentucky. His father, Harold Bunning, was a butcher, and often let young Jim do the honors when it came time to slaughter some tasty animals.
His mother, Charlotte, ran a brothel, and would sometimes enlist Jim to clean up the rooms after some of the more "excitable" customers came around.
Needless to say, these two experiences would help to shape Jim into the awesome piece of Republican he is today.
Middles
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At the age of 68, Jim realized his childhood dream and became a pitcher for the Detroit Tigers. It goes without saying that he did a fantastic job. If he hadn't, why would he be in the Hall of Fame?
Ends
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In 1998, Jim was elected to the U.S. Senate by his loyal constituents in Kentucky. His commitment to fiscal discipline and small government is so intense that his voting record is not strong enough to contain any evidence of it. Instead, he keeps it in his gut, which sends out such powerful waves of bellyaching that it destroys all opposition.
Superpowers
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- is able to hold up Senate with his bowel movements.
- able to pitch a perfect game on Father's Day.
- He can make people love him!