Jean Girard
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
wakes up in the morning and pisses Perrier!
Jean Girard is a gay French NASCAR driver. He is a pussy. It is unknown whether or not he is a liberal, but since he's a pussy, he has to be. He is the rival of Real American and Hero Ricky Bobby. He enjoys sun-drenched walks with his beloved husband Gregory. Gregory is no stay-at-home spouse; he's a world-class trainer of German Shepherds! He and Gregory wish for only that which every other couple wishes for: to retire to Stockholm, and design a currency for dogs and cats to use.
[edit] Quotes
- Hakuna Matata, bitches!
- By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. It was SHIT!
- And now, the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker!
- You have spilled my macchiato.
- [to Ricky] Tomorrow, you are going to get beaten. Beaten real bad, cowboy!
- Well, what has America given the world, apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the Thighmaster?
- [After breaking Ricky's arm] Your injury is one of ignorance and pride!
- Ah, "Reecky Booby"! Now we shall dance...and yes, it will be a slow jam!
- You must decide, "Reecky Booby". Is it foolish pride, or is it greatness for you?
- My erection has nothing to do with you.
- [on the Shake and Bake] What is that, is that a catchphrase or is it, uh, epilepsy?
- It makes no sense! This "Shake and Bake", it's nonsense!
- Where are you, "Reecky Booby"? Come face your destroyer!
- [to Ricky] I am a racing car driver, just like you, except I am from Formula Un.
- I am an associate of Ali G, Borat, and Bruno.
[edit] From deleted scenes
- My husband Gregory and I wish for that which every other couple wish for: to create a bed and breakfast in a volcano.
[edit] From unrated version
- My husband Gregory and I wish for that which every other couple wish for: to tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet.
- Where are you, "Reecky Booby"? Come face your destroyer! "Come face your destroyer"? Listen to how I sound. I sound like a massive prick!
