Oprah is the most powerful woman in the world. She is an empire unto herself and needs to protect her colonies.

And this is why she assembled her army: Oprah's Housewife Army (the "Oprah-HA")

Contents 1 "Oprah-HA" Campaigns 1.1 Elect Obama '08 1.2 Ritualized Redistribution of Resources 1.3 Push The Publishers' Pulp 2 History of the Oprah-HA 2.1 "You Go, Girl": Where It All Began 2.2 Tears, Ham, and Beyond 3 Known Housewife Members

"Oprah-HA" CampaignsEdit

Elect Obama '08Edit

Ritualized Redistribution of ResourcesEdit

• Oprah jumps up and down, shouts
  • gives away cars, money
• Oprah-HA jumps up and down, shouts
  • gives away tears, hugs

No matter how much jumping up and down and shouting America's men do, because of Oprah and the Oprah-HA, there are fewer and fewer women who recognize their God-ordained requirement to give away dinners, sex.

Push The Publishers' PulpEdit

History of the Oprah-HAEdit

"You Go, Girl": Where It All BeganEdit

Tears, Ham, and BeyondEdit

Known Housewife Members Edit

• Michelle Obama, housewife of باراك أوباما
• Virgin Mary, housewife of Eternal God
• Kathy Sharpton, housewife of Al Sharpton