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Written by Jesus, The Bible has a "Jew Testament" and a "New and Improved Testament". Each "Testament" is divided into "Books"; each "Book" into "Verses". The really truthy "Verses" are inked in the still red blood of Christ our lord and savior. This allows them to be read alone and with out regard for the other, less truthy, material. Also, its widely known that Christ’s blood is the one blood bears are not thirsty for. (This was used by Grizzly Adams to harness the power of these Godless Killing Machines until he was torn to shreds in an incedent involving one of those fake The Bibles with a hole in it to stash money.(Or a rock hammer if you are in Shawshank State Prison.))(Note: Grizzly Adams also proved bears will eat right through wads of hundred-dollar bills; even the rich aren't safe!)

Because Stephen Colbert is not a Jew this article will not cover the "Jew Testament". Here is a list of the "Books" in the "New and Improved Testament":

The GospelsEdit

The HistoryEdit

The SpamEdit

ApocalypseEdit

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