Heaven
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Heaven is a place in outer space where The Baby Jesus lives and Christians go to after death to play with Him. If they were bad, they go to hell.
Contents |
[edit] Heaven Residents, Current
- Santa Claus
- Ronald Reagan
- Strom Thurmond
- Most of God's Congress
- Torquemada
- Glenda the Good Witch
- Tooth Fairy (Gave God a 20)
- The Easter Bunny
- Mr. Furley from Three's Company (my gut tells me he made it in)
- Dolphins (They Are Christ-like)
- Mr. Rogers (Hi Neighbor)
- At least 72 Virginians, to comprise the welcoming committee for Osama Bin-Laden.
- Every single Pope in History (Popes get VIP treatment Upstairs)
- John Lennon (probably just sneaked in - how else did he get there?)
- Ben Franklin (If your good you get to go wii bowling with him).
[edit] Heaven Residents, Future
- Stephen Colbert
- George W. Bush
- Catholics
- Evangelical Christians
- Other Christians
- All Republicans
- Pat Robertson
- Jerry Falwell
- Dr. James Dobson
- Ted Haggard
- Osama bin Laden, to party with those 72 Virginians.
[edit] Heaven Residents, Possibly?
-
Some Jews - Europeans
- A handful of Canadians
- McDonald's 1980s commercials (these commercials are classic, doesn't classic seem Christian-ish?)
- Fanny Packs (Don't ask why , just assume)
- Monica Lewinsky's Dress (Maybe?)
- Dorothy From The Wizard of Oz (she was good, but the Gays like her an awful lot)
[edit] Definitely Not Heaven Residents
- The Gays
- Satan
- Most Democrats
- Oliver Cromwell
- Stalin
- A certain Mr. Hussein
- Bears Lovers
[edit] All You Need To Know About Heaven
If you are planning a trip to heaven, don't make the beginner's mistake: don't just pack your soul; things are expensive up there!
On the bright side: they do have recording devices, so you won't need to pack that!
And dont worry, all your needs will be met in heaven...[1]
In Heaven: the cooks are French,
the policemen are English,
the mechanics are German,
the lovers are Italian
and the bankers are Swiss.
And fear not, if you meet Europeans in heaven, keep in mind they are true believers, not like the heathen commie liberal eurotrash.
[edit] Kingdom of Heaven
The only redeeming documentary in girlieman Orlando Bloom's filmography. This movie follows a brave young crusader who wanted to fight the Bearjoominaty, the Mudslimes, and that guy in the goofy metal mask to make Jerusalem a place of the Lord like it is supposed to be!
