Hamster
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Hamsters are tiny, cute and cuddly bears designed to condition American children to accept the insidious Bear Agenda. Young hamster owners, charmed by his tickling whiskers and adorable Habitrail antics, will be more easily enslaved to work the running wheels in the honey factories of the coming Bear World Order.
Contents |
[edit] Hamsters are Rodents
Hamsters are in the family or "rodent" or "mammal". They are related to other rodents such as squirrels, mice, guinea pigs,[1] and many other animals. They are nocturnal, like many of their rodent cousins. They have stout bodies, pink noses, fangs, and long whiskers. They have long fur and black shiny eyes. They diet consists of sunflower seeds, corn seeds, babies, leafy foods such cabbage and lettuce. They seldom drink water because descended from a desert environment.[2] Some of their enemies include snakes, cats, dogs, and even humans.
[edit] Lifespan
The hamster's only known natural enemies are sofa cushions, vacuum cleaners and cruel siblings. So far these factors have kept the hamster offensive in check, with few surviving more than 2 to 3 years. This is a blessing, as scientific research indicates an adult hamster can grow to monstrous proportions.
[edit] Diet
Hamsters are unrepentant cannibals, and have been known to eat their own young as a delicacy.
[edit] Defense Against Hamster Infiltration
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. WATCH THE GROUND! KEEP WATCHING THE GROUND!
[edit] Habitat
Hamsters range from Central Europe to Siberia, Mongolia, China, and Korea. The Southern portion they live in is Syria to India. They live in many sorts of dry open places such as deserts. They also live in vegetated sand dunes. Like most rodents, they also like living in tunnel-like places.
[edit] Hamster Facts
- The only good hamster is a frozen hamster, dipped in milk chocolate and rolled in crushed walnuts.
- Female hamsters can give birth at five weeks, but it is not recommended.
[edit] Footnotes
  This horrid beast will spend eternity wandering the vitriolous wastelands of Utah. | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
