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Ham Rove

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Ham Rove
is a proud and perfect
reflection of the Republican Party.


Ham Rove was a political strategist and genius related to the famous Karl Rove. His life was tragically cut short on 12th November 2012 when he was violently butchered on the show by the libernazi John Stewart.[1] His body was devoured by dogs.

History & BirthEdit

Ham Rove
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Ham Rove was the bastard child of corporate sleaze and conservative science. During the final days of the Bush administration, Karl Rove wanted to clone himself so another would take the fall during the Valerie Plame affair. Karl Rove planned to retire to the safety of a Cayman island while his clone would spend the rest of its life in prison. Something happened during the cloning experiment while in utero (it is believed Karl's genetic material overwhelmed that of the egg's) and Karl's clone became a ham, a smart ham, but a ham none the less. Karl tried to terminate the fetus, but it was too late, Ham Rove was born. Not wanting to waste another billion dollars on more rounds of unethical human experiments, Karl Rove instead asked The Greatest President Ever to pardon him.

BiographyEdit

Like his human counterpart, Ham Rove was a political genius. With the cloning experiment having worked too well, Ham Rove was moved to a high security laboratory for further study. The results were astounding, he proved to have the highest IQ of any ham, possessing mental powers yet unknown to man and hamkind. It was suggested for the safety of the human race that Ham Rove be terminated indiscriminately, preferably sometime during Thanksgiving so as not to waste a good ham. However during that time in captivity, Ham Rove escaped from the laboratory and eluded authorities for several months, finally securing a pardon from The Greatest President Ever (he was apparently taken by Ham Rove). After the Presidential pardon, Ham Rove moved to Washington, D.C. and enrolled at Dartmouth College to further expand his ham brain. He graduated with the highest honors in the history of Dartmouth hams.

Fixing the Midterm ElectionsEdit

Karl Rove claims it was thanks to him that the Republicans won the 2010 midterm elections, lies. It was all thanks to Ham Rove that the GOP won that day.

TodayEdit

Ham Rove is a paid political strategist and would whore himself to any tv show who may be interested on hiring him as a pundit/political adviser/tv whore/ham spokesman. He is at the moment a paid consultant to the Colbert Report. It is said that if you eat the ham, you gain Karl Rove's memories.

He's dead, Jim.[2]

ReferencesEdit

  1. Colbert Super PAC Newsletter, Nov 12, 2012
  2. Colbert Super PAC Newsletter, Nov 12, 2012
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