South Carolina
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South Carolina 
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| Capital: | Charleston (the only perfect spot in South Carolina) |
| State Flower: | Peach |
| Official Language: | Spainglish |
| State Bird: | Eagle |
| State Motto: | ¿Como se llama? |
| Nickname: | The Mexican Peach Pickers State |
| Governor: | Strom Thurmond |
| State Anthem: | God Blessed South Carolina (Translation: Carolina del Sur bendecido dios) |
| Population: | 18,000 acres of peaches |
| Standard MPH: | Slow enough to make I-95 back up so poor South Carolinan children can skip school to run along side the interstate to sell peaches. |
| Principal imports: | Peach seeds (but not from Georgia) |
| Principal exports: | Peaches |
| Principal industries: | Peach Stands |
| Fun Fact # 1: | South Carolina is where George Washington discovered the first peach. |
| Fun Fact # 2: | Black people are not allowed within the borders of South Carolina. (You can bribe the SC cops with shiny objects. See: Raccoons) |
South Carolina (North Carolina's South Carolina) is home of the peach and Strom Thurmond
[edit] Carolina: The Bipolar State
Despite her magnificent natural beauty, Carolina has mental issues. Once swooned by surrounding states, eventually winning the heart of Georgia, who offered Carolina some of its delicious ripe peaches, Southern Carolina turned on Georgia like a ferocious, rabid pitbull. She began producing peaches so that Georgia would be jealous. Georgia ignored her. Northern Carolina then looked to Virginia for beach beautification assistance. Virginia was all too happy to help, unaware the Carolina would bitchslap it like a pimp looking for money. Virginia hauled ass. Carolina became so enraged that her northern half separated from her southern half, leaving North and South Carolina.
Georgia still offers inland assistance to the myriad coastal South Carolinan inhabitants whenever a hurricane smacks that ass. Georgia believes that hurricanes are God's way of showing tough love to South Carolina.
[edit] Beautiful and Exotic South Carolina Landmarks
The Home of The Stephen Colbert with Stephen Colbert Portrait, Sticky Fingers Barbeque.
The neverending, yawn inspiring drive on family trips from Coastal Georgia to the North. People from South Carolina are CRAZY! They love explosions. Every exit through FireWorks Alley (I-95 through South Carolina) sports at least two "CRAZY" fireworks dealers. Not only are they peddling explosive paraphenalia, but they are doing it while selling gasoline!
More important than some peach-shaped water tower is the South Of The Border Sombrero Tower, the most important part of the South Carolina culture. This tower is a proud symbol of the migrant Mexicans hired to pick those 18,000 acres of South Carolina peaches.
[edit] South Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles: Please Curb Your Mules On Your Own 40 Acres
South Carolina Changes License Tag to Represent the Diversity of the State
The new tag represents the Peach Industry of South Carolina in all its "superiority" of Georgia's. The tag stays true to the old South Carolina bland ways, but changes have been made: The absence of a county (removed after so many migrant Mexican workers repeatedly mispronounced the names) and the addition of the traditional Mexican sombrero (added to commemorate the addition of so many Spanish-speaking peach pickers.)
[edit] Famous South Carolinians
- Stephen Colbert- God's second favorite, bested only by Jesus
- Strom Thurmond- Great believer in the 11th Commandment, segregation, and Beautiful Republican
[edit] South Carolina Fun Facts, Via South Carolina's Favorite Son, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
- State Amphibian
- Dr. Colbert's dog Cookie, "She swims, and she goes on land"[1]
- State Flower
- "confederate jasmine"[2]
- State Motto
- "Dum spiro spero" (While I breathe, I hope)[3]
