Goliath (Gargoyle)
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Goliath is leader of the gargoyles and lover of bears. He first appeared on the scene when American hero and multibillionaire David Xanatos liberated Castle Wyvern from the people of Scotland and placed it on top of his skyscraper. He is currently dating a liberal human named Elisa Maza (not a bear, but not all that attractive).
In 1996, Goliath attempted to suicide bomb a police station in Manhattan. Unfortunately, he survived.
He is also a despot, leading the Manhattan clan with an iron fist and refusing to open up to democracy. In fact, when it came time to appoint a "second-in-command," he arbitrarily chose Brooklyn rather than open up the bidding to corporate executives to name a vice president like American leaders (who, lest we forget, are also chosen by the good, freedom-loving corporate executives). More egregious is that when he discovered that his daughter, Angela, was alive, he refused to abide by the laws of nepotism that exist in this country and make her his second-in-command. Obviously nobody told Mr. Goliath that in this country, children must succeed their parents to the highest office, like the way our glorious president, George W. Bush, succeeded his father after the fall of the Clinton tyranny (during which time, by the way, gargoyles entered America).
Goliath defends homosexuality as he refuses to expel Lexington, an acknowledged homosexual, from his "clan."
[edit] Goliath Trivia
- He is known to have ties to both Al Gore and Hillary Clinton.
- He is friends with Al Franken.
- He has guest starred on several Girls Gone Wild videos.
- He has tried to steal Captain America's shield from Stephen Colbert, but thankfully was chased away by Stephen Colbert's mad lightsaber skills.
- Has been pooped on by Stephen Junior in midflight.
- He is friends with that sex offender, Jon Stewart, and, like him, not allowed on the set of The Colbert Report.
- Voted against Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle as the best mascot of 2006.
