Gold
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Gold (precious)
Gold is approved by Glenn Beck. Gold, Sheep, and Women is the investment choice of all god-fearing America.
Remember, when the Democrats are in control of the government and prints massive amount of money to fund their welfare programs, gold will retain it's intrinsic value as a yellow metal you can eat.
If you don't like Beck's gold producer charging 50% premium over the spot price of gold on the open market, you can find Colbert's gold producer, Prescott Investment, charge a low 10% premium.
Magic Gold!
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This is a Threat Alert to gold investors! We just recently learned that a scientist is using magical witchcraft to magically create more gold to flood the market so it would plummet gold prices turning us all into homeless millionaires with golden mansions...!
See Also
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External Tubes
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- In Goldline We Trust
- How Glenn Beck's gold will save America
- Goldline seized by communist government
- Democratic Joo Wiener wants to steal our gold!
- Goldline in trouble! Commies to take our gold!
- Goldline to merge with Hamas
- Goldline heads to Congress to save our economy with their awesome plan!
- The Return of Gold! We are rich now!
- Gold is making a comeback!
- Gold is back, baby!
- Glenn Beck's gold been stolen by Filthy Hippies!
- Shock! Socialist judge forces goldline to surrender their gold to the US government!