Glenn Beck

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

Despite what you may have heard
Glenn Beck
Is totally not racist!

Glenn Beck
is a Truthiness Crusader!

Glenn Beck
Male	Nuance-Conservative
Birth	February 10, 1964
Birthplace	U.S.A.!
Religion	Mormon
Occupation	Callin' it hows he sees it.
Fun Fact	Knows Muslims (some of his friends are Muslims, and he has been inside mosques) Hatemonger-In-Chief
In Office	July 4, 2008 - Present	Preceded By	Jesse Helms

Kommissar Glenn Beck will destroy the mooslim government

Congressman, prove to me you're not working with Al-Qaeda

~ Glenn Beck to Keith Ellison

Glenn Beck is a American reporter and Patriot who has his own show on Fox News. For an entire hour, Glenn explains why he is right, and you are wrong, about everything. Glenn also enjoys shooting endangered species, in much the same way Dick Cheney enjoys shooting quails and hunting buddies.

Stephen Colbert loves Glenn Beck's sanity, and fears for it.

[edit] Initiation into Great American Fellowship

Mr. Beck during a break from his radio show

In 2007 Glenn Beck was initiated into Sean Hannity's Great Americans fellowship. He has been a vociferous advocate of the Cornhole-thesis, a central tenant of Hannity's fellowship which states that Robert Cornhole, the discoverer of teeth, was one of America's founding fathers. Beck has stated that "If Joseph Smith was a Cornholian, I'm a Mormon." He at present labors for the reinstatement of Rush Limbaugh into the fellowship, something which Hannity even after much ~~fluffing~~ planning with Limbaugh, has refused to discuss publicly. Beck has also been in dialogue with a number of Mormon theologians at Brigham Young University as concerns the development of a "healthy, nay, a prophetic Mormon Cornholism." Hannity has stated: "If Beck has come to Christ, let him thrust Cornhole in there too wherever he may or may not fit."

[edit] What He Knows

Caption

Glenn doesn't mix with knowledge, he feels with his gut, and his gut says the following will happen in the near-future:

Robert Cornhole will enter Mormon liturgy
The end of the world
World War III
Iran will invade Poland.
Geraldo Rivera will get hit by a train
John Kerry will transform into a fire-truck and call himself Optimus Prime
Canada will steal all of America's taffy
Glenn Beck will rule the world
Poland will invade China. Of course America will be the final winner.
His ass hurts
he cries in a manly way

[edit] We Surround Them

Glenn started an internets group for dissatisfied Americans called "We Surround Them." The name comes from the ancient Mormon shepherd practice of surrounding the flock, to keep them in line--but not in a gay way.

[edit] Glenn Beck and 9/12 Project

Glenn Beck's new project will allow the country to be unified again ~~by fear~~ patriotism and he is calling ~~Osama Bin Laden~~ "A Friend" to help him with his plan!

Osama… you are our only hope(?)…