Ginger
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
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[edit] Ginger
Gingers are humans that have red hair and freckles along with bright white skin. Sunlight is especially dangerous to gingers as it will cause their skin to burn within minutes of exposure. Gingers do not have a soul and feast on the non-ginger's souls to stay alive. In recent years the humanity of gingers has been questioned do to their lack of souls. Becuase gingers are found by most of the population to be repulsive they have a very hard time finding a mate and thus have evolved so that they can reproduce asexually. On occasion a mentally handicapped person will be sexually assaulted by a sex starved ginger and the resulting offspring is a hideous species known as a Day-Walker. There is a movement throughout the states to make them second class citizens. This is also brought about by their efforts to overthrough world governments(although all attempts to date have failed miserably and led to the merciless and much deserved slaughter of millions of gingers and their sympathizers). If the movement is successful the United States government and hopefully the governments of the world will be able to monitor and control all the gingers. This would greatly decrease the ginger's abilty to organize revolts and will save the military millions of dollars in ammuntion because they wont have to gun down the rebellious gingers.
For the perfect exaple of a ginger there is John C. Burke residing in Millinocket, Maine. Although being consindered highly dangerous (as well as utterly repulsive) twitchy-eyed Burke has been allowed to take part in scholastic activities with non-gingers. He is thought to be the rare Class 5 ginger (see ginger classes for details) and it currently being studied by scientists without his knowledge. You can easily recognize Burke by interacting with his alien form. He has an intense series of freckles along his proboscus and cheekbones and they are combined/mixed with a series of repulsive oozing acne. His twitch eye disturbs not only the everyday human but also all creatures of nature. John the type 5 ginger can often be found spending hours stylizing his intense carrot top hair, tucking in his shirts, sharing coffee with old ladies at McDonalds, talking about all things sexual (whilst claiming hes purely catholic), and riding his banana bike around town scouring his next victim.
[edit] Alerts
As of October 25, 2008, The first and only Class 5 Ginger in recorded history was witnessed by an elderly couple and caught on camera.
UPDATE- At the risk of his own life, Prof. McDoc defeated the last and only class 5 ginger in recorded history. The fight was a caused by a suprise attack on the Technology and Research Developement Department by more than 100,000,000 gingers. They were all killed, Hooray. That was 97% of the ginger population, so they are basically gone. Nothing to worry about anymore.
Gingers are classified in 6 classes, they are as follows.
- Class 1- the most basic and harmless form of gingers.
- Class 2- These are the most common class and are what the Colbert Loyalists have primarily fought with.
- Class 3- The leaders of the small groups of ginger bandits that pose the primary threat to America and the Colbert Nation
- Class 4- These lead entire regions of gingers. Only 21 Class 4 gingers are known to exist.
- Class 5- A class 5 ginger has never acutally been encountered, but they are therorized to exist.
- Class X- This Class is reserved for any unknown gingers. It is believed to be the most powerful thing to ever walk the earth in human form.
[edit] Day-Walkers
The day-walkers are very similar to gingers, except they are half human. While more common, most of them don't know about their hidden ginger powers. They are led by a vicious woman name Virginia. Don't be fooled by her normal(and kinda hot) sounding name, she is dangerous.
[edit] Powers
Gingers have the uncanny ability to steal other's souls. They use most of the energy extracted to simply live, but can use it to combat the Wriststrong. Most gingers can't use theses powers, but an exceptuall few can.
