Due to the number of gays that are claiming there is no difference between what is being done to them and the Jim Crow laws, we at The Colbert Nation propose that the following laws be enacted. If the law-huggers are already accusing us of doing these Bible-sanctioned things, why not do it right and pass some laws?

There's no indication that Jesus would disapprove (save for the one about Transsexuals not being able to wear ski suits).

See Also:

• Gay Marriage
• Gay-sounding Sports Terms

Contents 1 Da Laws 1.1 Alabama 1.2 Alaska 1.3 Arkansas 1.4 Arizona 1.5 California 1.6 Colorado 1.7 Connedicett 1.8 Delaware 1.9 Florida 1.10 Georgia 1.11 Idaho 1.12 Kansas 1.13 Kentucky 1.14 Louisiana 1.15 Maine 1.16 Minnesoda 1.17 Montana 1.18 Nebraska 1.19 New Hampshire 1.20 New York 1.21 New Jersey 1.22 New Mexico 1.23 Nevada 1.24 North Carolina 1.25 Northa Dakota 1.26 Oklahoma 1.27 Ohio 1.28 Oregon 1.29 Pennsylvania 1.30 Road Island 1.31 South Dakota 1.32 Texas 1.33 Tennessee 1.34 Utah 1.35 Virginia 1.36 Washington 1.37 West Virginia 1.38 Wisconsin 1.39 Wyoming 1.40 DC

Da LawsEdit

AlabamaEdit

Gays must wear a pink hat.

AlaskaEdit

Gays must live within 200 yards of wild bears.

ArkansasEdit

Gays will be forbidden from driving under bridges.

ArizonaEdit

Lesbians cannot run for Governor.

CaliforniaEdit

Girly men can only live in the Bay area and Hollywood.

Gay activists to be audited every year!

ColoradoEdit

Transsexuals can't wear ski suits.

ConnedicettEdit

All LGBT types must leave the state by sundown every day.

(They also need to rename their state.)

DelawareEdit

Gays must use a size 1 pencil.

FloridaEdit

Gays can't hold public office. Gay Republicans can't use public bathrooms.

GeorgiaEdit

• must be confined to the horrible ghetto known as Atlanta.
• and stay away from horses.

IdahoEdit

Gays are not allowed in public bathrooms.

KansasEdit

Must live within 2 miles of Fred Phelps House.

KentuckyEdit

Will be forced to sing musical numbers when ever a white male asks them to.

LouisianaEdit

Must not have parades.

MaineEdit

Must move to Canada eh.

MinnesodaEdit

Same as Idaho.

MontanaEdit

Transsexuals can't live in mountain cabins.

NebraskaEdit

There are people in Nebraska?

New HampshireEdit

Only 500 gay people can live in this state at one time.

New YorkEdit

Gays must live on Fire Island.

New JerseyEdit

Bisexuals can't run for governor.

New MexicoEdit

Isn't living in New Mexico punishment enough?

NevadaEdit

Homosexuals of any sort must live in LV and perform nightly acts.

North CarolinaEdit

depends on the county.

Northa DakotaEdit

have to wear GPS ankle bracelets.

OklahomaEdit

All homos are subject to getting kicked out of the Marines.

OhioEdit

Only non practising gays can become Governor.

OregonEdit

Gays can't live outside of Portland.

PennsylvaniaEdit

Gays have to use separate bathrooms.

Road IslandEdit

There are no laws regarding gays. (They also don't know how to spell Road.)

South DakotaEdit

Lesbians must report to the nearest slaughter house.

TexasEdit

Gay men must refer to themselves as girls.

TennesseeEdit

All gay men must write plays.

UtahEdit

Death penalty.

VirginiaEdit

Their assholes must be sewn shut (to make sure they remain virgin-ians).

WashingtonEdit

Thou shalt not bogart that joint.

West VirginiaEdit

Gay men have to wear styles from three years ago.

WisconsinEdit

• As a result of Dahmers law all gay men are subjected to periodic tests for cannibalism.

• Gay men can't attend packers games. (The irony of that is known to kill them).

WyomingEdit

Anyone mentioning that damn movie about gay cowboys will be shot.

DCEdit

Gay men can't run a Presidential campaign.