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Ethan Nadelmann

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Ethan Nadelmann
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process


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Ethan Nadelmann
composed at least one non-audiobook book.

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Stoned. Then nailed.

Another book-writer, is scheduled to appear on "The Colbert Report" to promote his wretched pile of kindling, "Policing the Globe: Criminalization and Crime Control in International Relations".

Too bad for Ethan, he will be Stephen's first nailing when The Good Doctor returns from vacation on January 8, 2007.

NailingEdit

When he appeared on "The Colbert Report" on January 8, 2007, he drank a cup of weed.

This socialist[1] believes that marijuana should be legalized[2] and regulated just like alcohol.

No Understanding of warfare, human behavior or American LawEdit

As the director of Drug Policy Alliance, it is probably part of his job to be high.[3]

Ignorance Regarding WarfareEdit

Even though he agrees with Dr. Colbert about the existance of a War on Drugs, Mr. Nadelmann is both against it and believes we already lost it.

For reasons unknown, Mr. Nadelmann feels that with only 5% of the world's population America should not have 25% of the world's prison population. He does not understand how this is definitive proof that America is winning the War on Drugs.

This shows that Mr. Nadelmann is unschooled in the ways of warfare. If he knew anything, he would agree with Dr. Colbert that while we are still in the War on Drugs we can't be losing it.

In addition, if we want to win the War on Drugs, we need to send in another 20,000 troops.

Nadelmann also blames laws for criminals.

He should blame pot-smoking for his premature aging.

Ignorance Regarding Human BehaviorEdit

Deterrence is the most powerful tool against the War on Drugs. Mr. Nadelmann does not understand this. Stephen had to explain to Nadelmann that the only thing keeping Stephen from being high is that it is illegal nixo facto Nadelmann is a tool for the hippies.

Ignorance Regarding American LawEdit

As the book-writer of a book on "International law[4]" The Good Doctor almost cut this soft-on-crime pothead's mike off. Obviously hopped up on the screamers, Mr. Nadelmann refused to sit down and loudly narrarated his hallucinations throughout the interview.

The World Through a Dope-fiend's eyesEdit

  1. didn't know Stephen Colbert is America probably because in his drugged-up state, Stephen looked like a wolf-headed beast to him.
  2. claimed Stephen planted joints in The Eagle's Nest[5]
  3. called Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. a commie
  4. claims that Stephen was Al Capone's best friend
  5. was unable to name any of the good ideas Stalin had.
  6. claimed half[6] of Stephen's audience lit up before tuning in[7]
  7. believes Europe is a good place to live after Dr. Colbert told him to go there[8]

Invited Back?Edit

Stephen invited him back, but under one condition: he is not allowed to be high during the interview.

March 12, 2008 Better KnowingEdit

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  • represented the drug lobby
  • Mary Ann was busted for pot (no wonder they couldn't find their way off the island
  • wouldn't shake his hand, because he doesn't want to get a contact high
  • Stephen has a cold and took some medication via "lines"
  • wants to get Eskimos high so they will harpoon their kids
  • does not know how to roll a really tight joint
  • all reggae songs sound the same

April 30, 2009 NailingEdit

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  • reduce border violence if we legalize drugs; why don't we just legalize border violence?
  • might be a flashback
  • start Dark Side of the Moon ... now!
  • doesn't want to give anything to Stephen's kids
  • soft on crime
    • he calls it "smart" on crime
  • smoking a joint and whatever
    • huge loophole
    • freebase monkey brain
  • 40% say treat it like alcohol
    • he estimates 90% of The Heroes
      • applause means nothing; they're high
  • cannot compare alcohol with drugs
    • alcohol makes people courageous
  • compares border violence to Chicago during prohibition
  • tax and regulate
    • tax and toke liberals
  • used to be just about the weed, he has sold out
  • free market should decide primo bud
  • he is a criminal and none of his
    • smoked it when he has watched Dr. Colbert's show, but never while being interviewed
      • not on him
  • lots of politicians say let's have a debate
    • he says Congress is afraid
  • Stephen agrees we should have an open, public debate in Congress and public square
    • as long as we don't talk about torture

FootnotesEdit

  1. He receives funding from George Soros
  2. Unlike Smith Brothers Lozenges, which he believes should not be criminalized, however, despite Stephen's first-hand account of their addictive properties
  3. But it isn't recommended when getting nailed by Dr. Colbert.
  4. Or, policy, whatever, either way, it's not American law, so who cares?
  5. Pure lies. Stephen would never plant joints filled with pure shake and seeds
  6. It's more like 75%, bonehead
  7. Which may be true since Nademan was the scheduled guest. Potheads tend to rally around fellow potheads
  8. This may be due to Holland's thriving wooden shoe industry that provides the only employment for the thriving pothead population

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