Eminem
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Eminem is a God-fearing rapper who ain't down with the gays.
Contents |
[edit] Background
Eminem, also known as Marshall Mathers,he was born on october 17, 1972, in Kansas City missouri. He didnt know his dad and never made any type of contact with him.
[edit] The Alter Ego
Eminem has an alter ego named Slim Shady. He mostly comes out at night, just around the time when Marshall Mathers makes his every day trip to Burger King and spits on your onion rings. Slim has been seen in daylight only once; in court for hitting a communist with a gun. Slim has been responsible for the rising crime rate of the last 100 years.
[edit] Regaining Control
In recent years, Marshall Mathers has gained more control over his evil alter ego. He no longer visits Burger King. After making a movie about his black haired nemesis, (8 Mile), Mathers hired the priests from The Exorcist to get rid of Slim Shady for good in 2001. Evidence of the success is seen in his last few shitty albums.
[edit] Cry For Help
In the past several years, Mathers' appeals for help have become more and more desperate. In several press releases "Slim" was overheard muttering something about "the fake slim shady".
- There are several different groups with different theories as to what exactly has been going on in Eminem's life for the past few years.
[edit] Group 1:
There are the Positivists who generally believe that there are two sides to Eminem's personality which would explain why Marshall Mathers recently got married to Kim after years of separation and discs dedicated to his hate for her. These "Positivists" are often prone to believe that Marshall struggled with drugs early on in his career and take this theory from many of his lyrics in his songs. These songs include popular hits such as "Drug Ballad" and "Purple Pills". This group often blames Marshall's long PCP binges for his pronounced hatred of his newly-wed Kim. They also contribute his frequent use of ecstasy to his moodiness during which his true feelings would rarely show.
[edit] Group 2:
The second group of people with sometimes the most bizarre theories are known as the "Forever Uncovering Crazy Killers" or for short F.U.C.K. This group is under the impression that Marshall Mathers has long since been stalked by a mad-man with an attempt to kill Slim Shady. They believe that Marshall has made many attempts at communicating this through his music but is to scared for his own life to say it out loud. This man is only know as "the fake slim shady" The F.U.C.K.s are under the impression that whenever "Slim" raps about how he hates Kim that is his impostor vocalizing his hate for Marshall's girlfriend who somehow managed to record over Marshall's original voice. The F.U.C.Ks also believe that in Eminem's "Drug Ballad" when he repeats "drugs really got a hold of me" and "every time i try to leave somethings pulling on my sleeve" Eminem was taken captive by "the fake slim shady" and was tryin to cry out for help.
