Dolphin
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
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 Godless Killing Machines |
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Much like the ancient Spartans and current members of the Democrat Party, dolphins practice homosexuality and infanticide. They are rats with flippers, hereby they are not Christian animals. Dolphins are fish. While liberals and terrorists might have you believe that they are "mammals" they can't be because they do not have boobs or hair. It is a mystery how they reproduce because they are all gay. Whales are fat dolphins which can be processed for oil, unlike regular dolphins who are only useful as tuna fish substitute. They live in igloos.
The leading crusader in protecting humans from Dolphins is Stephen Colberts former girlfriend and current talk show host Tyra Banks. Insisting after one passionate night of lovemaking, that after being inspired by Stephens anti-Bear crusade, she too would stand in the way of a dangerous interloper from the animal kingdom.
Dolphins have pretended to be endangered so hippies and democrats can aid them in their evil plot recently figured out by the CIA. CIA informants who disguised themselves as dolphins have reported that these murderous beasts are taking radioactive super-drugs to become hyper-intelligent as to aid the bears in their future uprising. Even as we speak they are loading their guns and preparing their war against Jesusland (USA). No form of torture is too extreme for these godless killing machines and no mercy should be spared when dealing with these beasts. So get your harpoons and oil spilling oil tankers and go kill some evil dolphin scum!!!!!
The dolphin uprising will be seen very soon. Since Zombie Bears and Bear sharks are the only type of bears who can breath underwater. You will see the bears riding dolphins with their high caliber weapons strapped onto their backs. Dolphins may seem cute like flipper, but do you know that dolphins are raping our women and children while they "Swim with them".
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[edit] Allies
- bears
- Al Franken
- hippies
- The Hate America Firsters
- whales
- democrats
- treehuggers
- The Council of Doom- By far the best allies and the most powerful. By breeding them with dogs, the most vicious army on the face of the earth has been created. They are spread out all around the planet but like to live underground or in the Bahamas. They are friendly when they want to be.
- cheerleader Claire Bennet!?
[edit] Enemies
- Tyra Banks
- American heroes
- Tuna fish canners
- Poland
- Iron Hanging Pot Holders (Free shipping with 10 hooks and a beautiful Swirl Design!)
