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Democralypse Now

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WonkyEarPub08
PuzzlePiece
Democralypse Now
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.


DemocralypseNow

May 29, 2008Edit

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  • rules committee will meet
  • Hillary Clinton is consistent in saying whatever it takes to win
  • about more than Hillary Clinton
  • also about MLK, Susan B. Anthony, Robert Mugabe, Medgar Evers, Harriet zatubman, Malcolm X, Good Times, Hilter Apple PIE AND Spider-Man
  • to deny Mi, FL votes is to say Kurt Cobain died in vain
  • confusing potential catastrophic rules Tad Devine

May 7, 2008Edit

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  • Hillary Clinton redefined the word "tie"
  • Obama tried to connect with the regular people
    • he's a phony because he was raised on filtered water
  • John King also sells real estate
  • Brian Williams has a bald friend and (projection expert) named Sheldon
  • Justin Stephen's projection expert, who has been in a state of isolation since super tuesday Feb 5

April 16, 2008Edit

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  • Barack Obama released a hard-hitting ad
  • Bill Clinton then said something about a difference between the Bush and Clinton years
    • then something about his wife's campaign
  • Obama hit back with an endorsement from Bruce Springsteen
    • which The Mob booed this decision
  • if America starts hoping, what will Springsteen's songs be about?
  • The The USA Today says, Springsteen has the ultimate in working-class cred
  • the bulk of which is in his cred vault in his 12,000 square foot mansion, in Shady Cred Acres
  • Meanwhile in the McCain campaign
    • things are just ducky
  • McCain called Al Qaeda "an obscure sect of Shi'ites" even though they are Sunni
    • with the democrats battling, who really noticed?
    • he was alive before the Sunni-Shi'ite split of 632
    • hard to learn new names
  • Associated Press exhibited a rare show of restraint by not asking him about the blunder when he attended their annual meeting. They did, however, give him:
  • coffee with cream and sugar
  • several Dunkin donut with sprinkles (his favorite)
    • McCain actually requested the donuts with Shi'ites

April 7, 2008Edit

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  • both candidates claim to be the underdog
  • Mark Penn resigned from the Clinton campaign
  • Homero a college internship
    • was too busy to get Stephen a triple shot latte
  • McCain and Obama made a joint ad criticizing Hillary Clinton

March 19, 2008Edit

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  • liberals
  • when Stephen gives speeches about how angry black people are: they call him a racist

March 13, 2008Edit

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  • once over 70, you can say whatever you want about black people and chinamen!
  • Barack Obama is a Secret Muslim!
    • he claims he is a Christian, which is what a secret muslim would say
    • Clinton denied it As Far As I Know
  • to answer every question, Dr. Colbert, "I don't care that Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim"

GuestEdit

Hussein Ibish

  • exec dir Arab American Leadership

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