Decider
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
| Decider was a Wikiality.com Featured Word on 4/28/07.
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A Decider is a true hero who has the vision, determination, and truthiness to combat terrorists, liberals, communists, bears, and other national threats. They are almost always American, or at least pursue good American ideals. Deciders are what prevents America descending into anarchy, or worse still surrenderation!
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[edit] Where Deciders Come From
Deciders usually come from America. Specifically, from vivid red states, like Texas. They almost never come from wussy, liberal-infested states like Massachusetts or California. Although those places are sometimes taken over by foreign deciders or half-deciders while their residents are busy cavorting naked with immorality.
[edit] How To Spot A Decider
Deciders can be identified by their strong chiseled jaws, steely masculine eyes, and coursing testosterone. They deciderate, and pay no attention to the repercussions. Deciders are almost always male. Once in a while a female decider will emerge, although it's likely that if you were to check "under the hood" you'd find some man bits.
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 This man is definitely a decider! |
 And so is this man. |
 This creature is not a decider! You can tell by the gay bow. |
 Some places are totally devoid of deciders. |
[edit] Famous Deciders
[edit] True Deciders
- Stephen Colbert
- The Greatest President Ever
- Jesus Christ
- George Washington
- Ronald Reagan
- Dick Cheney
- Ted Stevens
[edit] Honorary Deciders
- John Howard - the Prime Minister of Australia is as true a decider as you can get on foreign soil.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger - though even he has some girlie liberal tendancies.
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Tony Blair - another true foreign decider.Revoked due to his pandering to misguided anti-war Brits and Mahmoud I'm A Dinnerjacket
[edit] Natural Decider Enemies
Unfortunately, some parts of America are rife with those who ache to rid her of deciders. Decider-haters tend to prefer milder, wetter climates, and so congregate along the west coast and the the north eastern coast. This offers then a quick escape should they push our deciders too far.
Many of these enemies of America live in rancid hell-holes and hippy communes. But even America's capital has seen an infestation of decider enemies recently. They're probably stockpiling Waffles of Mass Destruction as we speak!
Prominent among the ranks of decider-haters are:
- Nancy Pelosi - a woman who fights deciders through compulsive blinking
- John Kerry - the inventor of the Waffle of Mass Destruction
- Hillary Clinton - the she-devil "New Yorker" obsessed with villages
- Sean Penn - famous decider hater and pretender to the metaphor throne
- Winnie the Pooh - the ultimate anti-decider: a procrastinating bear
- French people - perpetually drunk, liberal communists.
