| David Vitter|
|Birth||May 3, 1961|
|Super Powers||Being forgiven by God.|
|Fun Rumor #1||Likes to wear a diaper while receiving deep tissue massages.|
|Fun Rumor #2||Is Not Rape if There is a Profit to be made of|
David Vitter is the All-American junior Senator from the state of Louisiana. Vitter was hailed as a hero for saving countless lives after Hurricane Katrina. David Vitter courageously stood with brass balls and corrected the press by stating:
"In the metropolitan area in general, in the huge majority of areas, it's not rising at all. It's the same or it may be lowering slightly."
Who knows what flood of lies the liberal media might have unleashed had Senator Vitter not acted on his gut when he did. Vitter understood that the government had no business responding to this disaster, and hopes it will apologize to Our President soon.
Vitter the Morality ExpertEdit
Vitter is a family values conservative who has won a prestigious award from the Family Research Council. Using his expert, non-hypocritical judgment, he deemed Bill Clinton "morally unfit to govern" after Monicagate, and voted to impeach Clinton from the office of President.
Vitter's belief that homosexuality weakens heterosexual relationships has recently been proven correct. In 2003 he proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, and since then, the gays just kept getting married. As a result Vitter had no choice but to go to a prostitute. (see below)
People Mr. Vitter
Does Not May Actually KnowEdit
- Deborah Palfrey
- See Talk Tube for more details
Things David Doesn't Like Very MuchEdit
Apology For A Series Of Non-Sexual Deep Tissue Massages (With Special Finish)Edit
Dastardly pornographer Larry Flynt released the phone record that led to Vitter's admission that he'd been a customer of Pamela Martin & Associates, the
escort deep tissue massage service run by Deborah Jeane Palfrey on July 12, 2007.
During his press conference, Flynt said that he'd outed Vitter — and would be outing others, because of his hypocrisy; or as he put it: "I'm not exposing anyone's sex life, I'm only exposing hypocrisy."
Vitter's phone number appeared at least five times in the billing records of Palfrey's business, the first just four months after he was sworn in to the U.S. House in 1999 and the last on Mardi Gras of 2001.
There is nothing strange about this!
- Wikipedia's lies about Vitter
- Mr. Vitter Does Not Support Rape. Obama Does!
- Vitter does not support judicial activism
- Vitter does not support the mixing of people
- Vitter does not support the mixing of education