David Nelson Jones

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

David Nelson Jones was the 25 86/87ths year-old Republican challenger for the seat of Representative of California's 30th District, The Fightin' 30th, smack dab in the middle of that godless den of sin and smut known as Los Angeles' west side.

Stephen sat down with The Fightin' Nelson Jones when the current Representative, 16-term Congressman Henry Waxman, was too cowardly to help Stephen Better Know A District. David had the balls to skip school for the interview.

Contents 1 Why He Ran 2 Unelectable? 3 His Platform 4 2006 Campaign Slogans 5 David Nelson Jones' GOP Role Models Who Also Happen To Be Actors Or Persons Played By Actors 6 Factoids 7 See Also

[edit] Why He Ran

David wanted to be a congressman because he is a US citizen and almost 26 years old.

[edit] Unelectable?

Nelson Jones is honest. Perhaps too honest. He openly admits to having too much body hair. That kind of candor probably cost him the election.

In Hollywood, if you want to be a congressman, you better have laser hair removal. Just look at Henry Waxman's head if you want proof.

[edit] His Platform

• Supports the Iraq War.
  • Won't join the Army because running for Congress is just as important as actually fighting in a war that you support.
• Urges others to support the Iraq War by:
  • Running for Congress
  • Writing letters in support of troops.

[edit] 2006 Campaign Slogans

"I'm a citizen and I'm 25."
"They asked me to run, my wife says it's okay."
"Congratulations, Henry Waxman."

[edit] David Nelson Jones' GOP Role Models Who Also Happen To Be Actors Or Persons Played By Actors

• Alex P. Keaton, a non-Parkinson's-afflicted actor who starred in the TV show Family Ties
• Ronald Reagan

[edit] Factoids

• First Republican to appear on the Better Know A Challenger segment.
• Played the part of hard hitting reporter Stephen Colbert in an unaired segment of BKAC.

[edit] See Also

• Better Know A Challenger