David France
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Added by El PayoDavid France was Stephen's guest on the June 26, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report.
Mr. France says in his article The Science of Gaydar there are certain characteristics and traits common to gay people which can help people identify them.
When France appeared as a guest on The Colbert Report, Stephen could tell he was a gay by the shape of his jaw.[1] And by the fact that his last name is France. Everyone else could tell by his speaking voice.
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How To Tell With Absolute Certitude If You Are Gay
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On a man, if the index finger is shorter than the ring finger you are straight. Otherwise you're a homosexual. End of story.
On a woman, if the index finger is shorter than the ring finger you are a lesbian. Otherwise you're a breeder. End of story.
If the hair on the crown of your head is in a counter-clockwise whorl, you are gay.
ADDITIONAL PROOFEdit
If you like to have sex with a person of the same gender, you are probably gay.
France claims that sexuality is probably predetermined in the womb, although we know that to be false since homosexuality is a choice. He blames biology and genetics. All of this is good news, since there may be a pre-natal cure for gay pastors.
NotesEdit
Dr. Colbert has the hands of a real man
hands can be gay
hair can also be gay
counter-clockwise hair swirls are gay
relationships are suggestive
when a person chooses to be gay, hands and hair conform to the correlation
gays like to say "pre-natal"
not all the science is in
gay people can't answer questions
the study of homos is only 14 years old (perv)
no federal funding for this kind of research
If there is a truly a "gay gene", then there may be a cure
left-handedness and blue eyes are sins too
NotesEdit
- ↑ Dr. Colbert's extensive background in phrenology and eugenics having prepared him to make such determination.