Wikiality.com's Guide to Godless Killing Machines

Level 1

Bears Sharks Dolphins BearSharks Zombie Bears

Level 2

Bear Goat Beagle Greagle Robot Bears

Level 3

Cthulhu Balrog Godzilla The Borg Dragons

Level 4

Minotaur Octupus Kitlers

One of the Last Great Old Ones, Cthulhu is described by his followers as 'a pulpy, octopus like head on a scaly body with dragon wings and humanoid shape', or 'Rovesque'. While his cult chants, "'Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn", or "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

What is not widely known is that Cthulhu is actually have a nightmare about Stephen Colbert vanquishing him with his instinct for truth. Also, he fears that Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 Sperm Kit will lead to the birth of a creature that the Great Old Ones will be forever banished by, but only if the mother is the oft spoken of maiden, Charlene.

You hear me, Charlene? Humanity needs you to give yourself over to Stephen. Or Cthulhu wins.

Contents 1 Youth & Education 2 College Life 3 Run For President 3.1 Campaign Song: 4 Likes & Dislikes 5 See Also 6 External Tentacle Tubes

Youth & EducationEdit

College LifeEdit

What isnt widely known: the fact that Cthulhu attended Harvard, and graduated with a four point. What is widely known: Cthulhu smoked a shit ton of weed, fucked all the time, and couldnt snort coke because he has NO nose. Cthulhu was a party boy, and a good one at that. He drank liquor and various alcoholic beverages like they were, in fact, water. While this isnt hard for a demon/god/spawn-of-satan/someone-thats-friends-with-george-bush to do, its quite impressive that he managed not to get anyone pregnant.

In his senior year of college during a lecture in his Demonology class, Cthulhu got up, walked to the front of the room, stood on the teachers desk, SQUATTED, and proceded to violently defecate at least a weeks worth of spoiled fecal matter in front of the whole class.

Run For PresidentEdit

Campaign Song:Edit

Cthulhu Cthulhu

Cthulhu Cthulhu

The evil hate-filled Cthulhu

From a dimension far away

Flying through gates of madness

And into your heart

Turning dreams into nightmares

Destroying all he sees

Now begins a new adventure for me

You and the dark one Cthulhu

Sharing adventures and smiles

It’s a magical bond two pals can share

Soon the whole world will be made aware

Of you and the death lord Cthulhu

Making the world a better place

Together you will have so much fun

Sending all of my stupid friends to oblivion!

You and the dark one Cthulhu.

Likes & DislikesEdit

• What is even less widely known is that Cthulhu suffers from chronic boredom, and likes Coco Puffs.

Even a dark god wants to smell nice

See AlsoEdit

• FSM
• Tentacle Monster

External Tentacle TubesEdit

• Hello, My Name is Cthulhu