Wikia

ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

Real Americans
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!

Real Americans are God-fearing, compassionate conservative Christians who love the Baby Jesus and America. They spend lots of time watching TV with their family, talking about how nice the things on the commercials are, and following the President's orders (Unless the president is a Mooslim). To relax, they make babies and shop for cheap things at Wal-Mart.

Real AmericansEdit

Our numbers are growing, soon we will have a Real American Army!

Meet the ~~Hicks~~ Real Americans

Stephen Colbert
The American Family
Regular Americans
Barry Goldwater
George W. Bush
Ronald Reagan The realest of them all.
Tom DeLay
Dale Earnhardt
George Washington
Hulk Hogan
Toby Keith
Jack Bauer
Chuck Norris
Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton Jr.
Bill O'Reilly
Joe Arpaio
Rush Limbaugh
Fonzie
Gerald Ford
Sean Hannity
Walt Kowalski
Cal Ripken Jr.
Orly Taitz
Glenn Beck
Joe the Plumber
This Lady on the Radio
The Oathkeepers
This Guy
Kyle Busch
Radar O'reiley
Not Jimmie Johnson (aka. Jimmie Queerbait)
James Bond (Shhhh he is a secret American)
Jesus Christ
Stewie Griffin
~~Charles Johnson~~ Charles Johnson is dead to us
This Lady
This other guy
Joseph "Tax-Slayer" Stack The New Tax-bane of America!
Solomon "Solly" Forell (Mr. Solly will be indispose for the next 10 to 20 years, so he will be unable to give an interview to the "Libural Media")
Mike Vanderboegh of Sipsey Street Irregulars ~~and his team of Assassins/Child Killers!~~
Chris Reichert Greatest American Hero of all Time!
~~Timothy McVeigh~~ FILE NOT FOUND
Steven Blair
Prop comic(?) Gallagher
One Nation Under God
~~Hal Turner~~ Mr. Turner has decided to spend more time with his prison bitch.
Pee-man
The Christian Moosama Ben Laddin: Freedom Fighter
~~Martin Peretz~~ traitor
~~Jim Greer~~ YOU DAMN TRAITOR MOOSLIM-LOVER!!!
This guy
~~Jared Loughners~~ He is a filthy dirty commie hippie and the Tea Party denies he was ever part of Real America.
a Patriot who was arrested for being a patriot

Honorary Real American:Edit

They may been born outside of America, but they feel like Real Americans

Luke Angel
The Douchebag Family
NC GOP Mailer
Anders Behring Breivik, the liberator of Norway and America's first European Tea Bagger.[1]
These noble freedom fighters

Real American of The YearEdit

Joseph Gamache: so white, he cant event hit anything! Not even air.

Lies About Real AmericansEdit

Liberals say Real Americans hate people based on a particularly unGodly trait:

Gays (even though we apparently have them in the House of Representatives),
Women (We don't hate them, they just can't be Real Americans because they lack a penis),
Blacks (we can't even see color),
Hispanics (well, thats true, unless they provide the Taco Bell)
Indians (only good for serving us slushies and dental care. No arranged marriages here!)
Asians (Oh yeah, you guys can see a whole lot, right?)

Okay, maybe this is a little racist. But if this is too disturbing for you, then leave Wikiality, and go to Wikipedia, where there are 98% facts and 2% ~~bias opinions~~ truthiness, but hopefully you are not a little pussy.