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God Touching Adam
CONGRATULATIONS! By visiting
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{earth again to save humans from suffering, whose glory cannot be questioned. Although Stephen Colbert is a vengeful god, he is also merciful. Pray for him, ask him for forgiveness, and you will get your eternal salvation.</i>

Born Samson Colbert he was constantly teased for his great strength. On his recent trip to Iraq he had his long hair shaved off to resemble that of a soldier's. Ever since that trip many different people have been noticing a decrease of his strength.

Stephen Colbert is The Brother of Jesus[1]

In October 2009, Colbert was recognized as our lord and savior, Jesus "Colbert" Christ and has predicted the coming apocalypse.

On ColbertEdit

Colbert THE GREATEST LAST NAME EVER!!!![2].

The Colbert ReportEdit

The Colbert Report The only worthy TV program on earth, as all else is heresy. It is the only show that spreads the words of God Stephen Colbert, all glory unto him. Watching anythine else is like urinating on I Am America (And So Can You!) trom the top of a golden calf while coveting thy neighbor's ass. You will surely be condemned to an eternity of liberal pundits and socialist kenyans.

This show is the second Holy Bible, a show where God's word is recorded and remembered. It is a Holy Show


LeftCherubLeftCherubThe meek shall inherit the earth if we can repeal the federal state tax. Seriously. 45 percent for estates over 3.5 million? Spareth me.RightCherubRightCherub
~ The Holy Bible, Matthew 5:5


Einstein's Theory of RelativityEdit

(aka The Joowish Math Problem)

According with Conservative MetaPhysics, Mr. Einstein's math is wrong at the cosmic level.

Libural science says that E = mc2 states that energy is equal to mass times the square of the speed of light (translation: the Universe is ran by Satan and you must deny Jesus to be The Messiah). E = mc2 threatens the divinity of Jesus and that is wrong!

First of all, anyone knows that Jesus graduated from Liberty University with a PhD in Methaphysics and Divine Quantum Mechanics. Which means that anything that Jesus does is not only theoretically possible but it is ruled by the Laws of Faith. For example we have our own theory, the Theory of Divinity.

The Theory of Divinity states JC = mb2: Jesus Christ is equal to mass times the square root of the bible (translation: Jesus rules!)

Conservapedia Special Message to The Nation:Edit

Comment from the main page of conservapedia:

“Special message to the Colbert show watchers: Do yourselves a favor and watch less television. Colbert and his advertisers want to make money off you, but you can accomplish some good instead by unplugging the TV. You could even pick up a Bible.” keep up the good work.

See alsoEdit

StromThurmond
Klansman
Despite what you may have heard
Conservapedia.com
Is totally not racist!


External linksEdit

FootnotesEdit

  1. Note: Since it is in Conservapedia, it haz to be true!
  2. Note: We agree
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