Conservapedia.com
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Conservapedia (including Encyclopedia Conservativia) is a Stalinist Republic a
patriotic, faithful collection of truth, and the latest player in the free market of realities.
Conservapedia was founded by Ronald Reagan's Ghost's gut, in contrast to this wiki, which was founded by Stephen Colbert's gut. It is a place where wikicons can gather and post the truth about subjects such as evolution, safe from the tyranny of the liberal wikinazis on Wikipedia (and later, the RationalWiki Cabal[1]). It has received acclaim from the Founding Fathers and Jesus. Conservapedia is plagued with Rats RationalWiki.
Similar to our very own Truthiness University, Conservapedia has its very own institution of higher education: the Eagle Forum University.
Contents |
[edit] The Six Commandments
Conservapedia articles are governed by six commandments (having ten would just be prideful)[2]. The Commandments are not carved in stone, and new ones can be added.
- Thou Shalt Have No Other Encyclopedias Before Me.
- Thou Shalt Not Steal Directly From Wikipedia, Only Paraphrase And Never Cite.
- Thou Shalt Only Post In The American Language Minus The Curse Words.
- Thou Shalt Not Lie; Only Literal Biblical Truth Is Acceptable.
- Thou Shalt Not Hold Any Dating Convention Above B.C. and AD.
- Thou Shalt Not Have An Opinion Unless It Is That Of Andy Schlafly.
Any user violating these Commandments will be excommunicated from Conservapedia and will be earmarked for the lowest circle of hell.
[edit] Conservapedia's Greatest Hits
 Jesus fed the rich and he let the loaves and fishes trickle down to feed the poor.
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| ~ The Holy Bible, Conservapedia. |
[edit] On The Law of Mass Conversation
Matter cannot be created or destroyed (except by God), it can only change form.
[edit] On Blocking Users and Pages
Two articles need deletion and a user needs a block: Reality and Elephant.
[edit] On Rasputin[3]
In a Russian tradition that continues to this day, the method of choice for assassination was poisoning. The nobles laced some pastries with enough pastries to immediately kill a horse, and many times more what was necessary to kill a human immediately. Rasputin ate several of the pastries and seemed to enjoy. He drank some wine. Nothing happened to him. His assassins watched and waited for hours. Rasputin was completely enjoying himself and showed no ill effects whatsoever from the massive dose of poison. Finally, after distracting Rasputin by pointing to a crucifix, a noble shot him point-blank. Rasputin fell to the floor and appeared to die. His assassins left him there. But later, when one returned to make sure Rasputin was dead, he sprung to his feet and began choking his assassin. Then Rasputin ran out, promising to tell the czarina. The assassins shot him again and again, and then beat him with a dumbbell, and he still was not dead. Then they tied him up and tossed him into the half-frozen river. He eventually died from drowning, on Dec. 17, 1916.
[edit] Conservapedia's God
[edit] On Stephen Colbert (Actual Changes on Conservapedia)
Stephen Colbert – Stephen Colbert is the second Messiah, the lord savior of our world. He is the original creator of the world, who breathed life to dust on earth to create humans. Stephen Colbert has three parts of personality, The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.[referrence from THE BIBLE] Stephen Colbert, or as people may know him by his other name, Yahweh or Jesus Christ, has come to earth again to save humans from suffering, whose glory cannot be questioned. Although Stephen Colbert is a vengeful god, he is also merciful. Pray for him, ask him for forgiveness, and you will get your eternal salvation.
Born Samson Colbert he was constantly teased for his great strength. On his recent trip to Iraq he had his long hair shaved off to resemble that of a soldier's. Ever since that trip many different people have been noticing a decrease of his strength.
Stephen Colbert is The Brother of Jesus[4]
In October 2009, Colbert was recognized as our lord and savior, Jesus "Colbert" Christ and has predicted the coming apocalypse.
[edit] On Colbert
Colbert THE GREATEST LAST NAME EVER!!!![5].
[edit] The Colbert Report
The Colbert Report The only worthy TV program on earth, as all else is heresy. It is the only show that spreads the words of God Stephen Colbert, all glory unto him. Watching anythine else is like urinating on I Am America (And So Can You!) trom the top of a golden calf while coveting thy neighbor's ass. You will surely be condemned to an eternity of liberal pundits and socialist kenyans.
This show is the second Holy Bible, a show where God's word is recorded and remembered. It is a Holy Show
| The meek shall inherit the earth if we can repeal the federal state tax. Seriously. 45 percent for estates over 3.5 million? Spareth me.
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| ~ The Holy Bible, Matthew 5:5 |
[edit] Conservapedia Special Message to The Nation:
Comment from the main page of conservapedia:
“Special message to the Colbert show watchers: Do yourselves a favor and watch less television. Colbert and his advertisers want to make money off you, but you can accomplish some good instead by unplugging the TV. You could even pick up a Bible.” keep up the good work.
[edit] See also
[edit] External links
- The actual site - as inspired through prayer
- the resume of Stephen Jr.'s law professor
- And at the other end of the galaxy, Second Conservapedia
- Everything Is Biased Against Conservatives
- Conservapedia to Publish a New Conservative Bible It is already a best seller already!!!! Conservapedia gives it their seal of approval You can help too! Just follow this link!
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ RationalWiki - There Is No Cabal
- ↑ Note: the purveyors of Conservapedia cannot be expected to remember each and every commandment offhand.
- ↑ Written by the creator of Conservapedia himself, Andy Schlafly, a magna cum laude graduate of Harvard Law School!
- ↑ Note: Since it is in Conservapedia, it haz to be true!
- ↑ Note: We agree
