Washington's 9th District, The Fightin' 9th! is represented in the 110th Congress by Democrat Adam Smith and includes parts of Pierce, Thurston and King counties, along with areas of suburban Seattle & Tacoma. The 9th is a blue-collar district whose valleys were carve out by glaciers during the last Ice Age. Now, thanks to global warming, we will have our vengeance. Vengeance upon thee you icy, baby-threatening fiends!
The 9th district is proud to be the nation's #1 producer of rhubarb, which is just like being #2 since no one cares either way. Other crops grown here include lettuce, cabbage, berries, beans and daffodil bulbs. When mixed together, their aroma attracts illegal aliens.
Every June, residents flock to "Yelm Prairie Days," a celebration of the prairie lifestyle. Highlights include building a sod lean-to, wearing sun bonnets and the ritual eating of the dead to get through a long winter.
One of the towns in the 9th also serves as the inspiration for Stephen's book, The Colbert Guide to the Top Restaurants of Fife, Washington.
- Sanjaya Malakar