Columbia
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
 "Blah, Blah, Blah,
Cocaine!" |
Columbia is a country south of America and borders with Panama and the Caribbean Sea like the evil Cuba with whom it has created a secret alliance to destroy the values of America and the rest of the world.
| COLUMBIA | |
|---|---|
| Capitol: | Snortville |
| Official Flower: | Cocoa Bean |
| Official Language: | Junkie |
| Official Bird: | The High Flyer |
| Motto: | The Nation With a Sense of Smell |
| Common Name: | Scarfacetopia |
| Regent: | John Belushi |
| National Whore: | "Kocaine Katy" |
| Official Anthem: | "Land of the White" |
| Population: | N/A too high for census |
| Principal imports: | Laundered Money |
| Principal exports: | Cocaine, Drug Smugglers |
| Principal industries: | Coke Production |
Contents |
[edit] Drug Industry
The evil inhabitants of Columbia are well known for they growth of cocaine. What many, innocent, young Americans do not realize is that Columbians do not consume their own cocaine. Instead, they sell the drugs to American youth to corrupt them, take away their lives, and take their money out of the good ole' USA and spend it on whores and guns to kill more people. The only way for this menace to be stopped is by invading Columbia and burning down every speck of forest until they are all dead or have lost all of their cocaine.
[edit] Other Problems
In Columbia it is custom for men to dress up as women and sleep with unsuspecting American tourists. Thinking it was his wife, the great Republican Governator of California-Arnold Swartzenager- accidentally slept with one of this sick people. Fortunately for the Governator, he was able to kill the tranny before either one of them climaxed- but you might not have super biceps so stay out of Columbia.
[edit] Conspiracies
It is believed that Columbians are working with black bears to invade America. The cocaine is supposed to eliminate the young people and the bears will kill the old and weak until a Columbo-Ursa state is established in place of a Jesus sanctuary. This must be stopped.
[edit] People Known to Visit Columbia
- Neil Young
- Hugo Chavez
- The Dixie Chicks
- Al Gore
- Charlie Sheen
- O.J. Simpson
- Charles Darwin
- Nicholas Copernicus
- Jerry Garcia
- Al Pacino as Scarface
- John Belushi
- Jim Morrisson
- Kim Jong Il
- Osama Bin Laden
