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Stephencolbertking — Seems like an election is unnecessary, but you know... tradition
Added by Mutopis

I am a Superpac and so Can You!

~ Stephen Colbert

June 30, 2011

~~ColbertSuperPAC~~ ColbertSuperPAC SHH!
Leader:	Stephen Colbert
Treasurer:	~~Salvatore Purpura~~ John Stewart (He is good with money... we think)
Lawyer:	Trevor Potter
Adviser:
Official Nationality:	The Colbert Nation and American
Official Motto:	Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow
Formation:	2011
Purpose/focus:	We dont know. We are waiting for Stephen Colbert to tell us what to do
Official Anthem:	"Good Time Comin'"
Work Force:	Corporate paid lackeys and Viacom employees.
Wealth Scale:	That's none of your business.
Political Affiliation:	Whoever gives us the most money
Fun Fact # 1:	None of this would be possible if it wasnt for "Citizens United"
Fun Fact # 2:	And the Supreme Court!
Fun Fact # 3:	We accept cash, visa, mastercard or your first born.

~~ColbertPAC~~ ~~ColbertSuperPAC~~ ColbertSuperPAC SHH! ~"Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow"~

OrganizationEdit

ColbertPAC is a PAC that can only accept a few buck per rules by the FEC. Because of some commie rule, donors are limited in the amount of money they can contribute to candidate campaigns or other organizations.

ColbertSuperPAC is a SuperPAC that accepts unlimited amounts of money and follows FEC rules to disclose the name of their donors. According with Wikipedia, "they are "independent-expenditure only committees," which can raise unlimited sums from corporations, unions and other groups, as well as individuals. Super PACs are only made possible thanks by the Citizens United ruling by the Supreme Court, which lifted many spending and contribution limits. The groups can also mount the kind of direct attacks on candidates that were not allowed in the past. Super PACs are not allowed to coordinate directly with candidates or political parties and are required to disclose their donors."

ColbertSuperPAC SHH! is a 501(c)(4) organization that accepts unlimited but secret donations from its sister company. Now technically spekaing "ColbertSuperPAC SHH!" is not a 501(c)(4) organization. "Anonymous Shell Corporation" is using the 501(c)(4) loophole to channel anonymous contributions to "ColbertSuperPAC SHH!". Technically and legally, this is no different from money laundering, with the exception that this is all legal. This is a secret, so don't tell anyone.

I am sadden to announce that ColbertSuperPAC is dead... it was a fun run while it lasted... which is why we are glad to announce:

The Definitely Not Coordinating with Stephen Colbert SuperPAC, a new SuperPAC for America! This "new" SuperPAC is in no way coordinating with Stephen Colbert to help him get elected as President of The United States of South Carolina.

UPDATE: WE ARE BACK, BABY! Jon Stewart's tyrannical reign is over!

John Colbert Cougar Super MellenPAC.

LeadershipEdit

Our Glorious Stephen. ~~Anyone bellow him are his personal slaves~~ The rest of the personal are made up of interns living on internet porn and nacho cheese.

SuperPAC PledgeEdit

Purpose of the ColbertSuperPacEdit

To legally obtain unlimited independent expenditures so he can obtain unlimited amounts of money to be used to save America.

Future Political ScandalsEdit

Future Corruption ScandalsEdit

Taking bribes from farm animals to support the PETA bill giving animals personhood with social security and universal healthcare provisions.

Special Offers for Big Donors!Edit

Who Loves ColbertSuperPacEdit

ColbertSuperPAC
endorses ColbertPAC
and will wait for those secret donations in the mail.

Who Hates ColbertSuperPacEdit

List of Big Donors!!Edit

We at ColbertSuperPAC would like to give thanks to our most generous donors for making this possible[1]:

Lord Sauron, Maia.

Suq Madiq, mooslim.

Ironballs McGinty, Scotish-American.

M'ballz es Hari, Indian-American.

Loveporn Cockonopolis, Greek-American.

Poop Giggle, Kindergartinstan.

Harry Ballsagna

Pat Magroin

Ibin Yerkinoff

Frumunda Mabalz

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ATTENTION!!!Edit

ATTENTION PAKISTANI SPIES, COLBERTSUPERPAC IS NOW ACCEPTING ~~BRIBES~~ POLITICAL CONTRIBUTIONS AT WWW.COLBERTSUPERPAC.COM[2]

WE ALSO ACCEPT DONATIONS ABOVE $1,000,000.00 DOLLARS[3].

BREAKING NEWS: COLBERT'S SEXUAL SCANDAL!!!Edit

Colbert has admitted on the air that there is a sexual scandal that could plague Colbert's SuperPAC, plague them with piles of filthy money. ColbertSuperPAC would like to remind its donors that they can get all the filthy lurid details of the sexual harassment by the low low price of a pile of money to be donated to our secret accounts.

ColbertSuperPAC is patiently awaiting your donations.

ColbertSuperPAC ADsEdit

ColbertSuperPAC first ad is an endorsement to Rick Parry, a Real American Hero, unlike that fake hero named Rick Perry. Rick Perry is a liar, a cheater, and a jub destroyer. While Rick Parry is a truth teller, a winner, and a jub creator.

ColbertSuperPAC: New LeadershipEdit

Wikiality.com it is saddened to announced that ColbertSuperPAC will not be ran by Our Glorious Leader Stephen Colbert, instead Colbert is transferring his SuperPAC ownership to that filthy liberal John Stewart. Apparently you cannot run for President and own your own SuperPAC, that is just ridiculous.

Emergency UpdateEdit

Wikiliaty.com is glad to announced that Our Glorious Leader Stephen Colbert will be running to be President of The United States of South Carolina. Colbert 2012!!!! Stewart, do not screw this up!

BenefitsEdit

Any ColbertSuperPAC donor will receive a visit from Stephen's SuperPAC personal masseuse.
Access to the ColbertSuperPAC's secret entertainment room. Shhhh, dont tell anyone.
Political influence to shape the future of America.

TriviaEdit

PAC stands for "plastic and/or cash".
Colbert Super PAC has raised a total of $1,023,121, mostly from private donors (aka heroes).
ColbertPAC has raised more money than Sarah Palin!

END OF AN ERAEdit

Well, that's it folks. Colbert's superpac has shut down. And no refunds.