Wikia

Republican Goddess of the week
09-14-2010

Christine O'Donnell is a reknowned Tea Bagger
and won't stop tea bagging
until all Americans are Tea Bagging together!

I'm not a Witch

~ Christine O'Donnell

October 4, 2010

What I believe is irrelevant.

~ Christine O'Donnell

October 13, 2010

Christine O'Donnell is a ~~former satanist~~ fun-lovin' gal and wholesome anti-masturbatiojn activist who wont have sex until she is elected as the Tea Bagging Senator of Delaware.

The Wisdom Of ChristineEdit

Christine is not possessed
She did not attend the University of Oxford but she did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Christine tells America who she is--in song! (she's not a witch or a politician, she's you!)

Her Anti-Masturbation AgendaEdit

Our only solution against this abominable act of adultery in the eyes of God is to marry our hand to make the sexual union between man and hand to be a valid one.[2]

(No one tells Sweetness!)

In addition...Edit

However, if one were to engage in pre-marital sex prior to the Christian blessing of God-Approved marital relations, one would be forgiven if one's partner were in a Christian rock band.

So, in conclusion, not all pre-marital sex is created equal[3].

Masturbation UpdateEdit

O'Donnell recently compared gays in the military as equally offensive as adulterers in the military[4]. Stephen Colbert using his gut power made a shocking discovery, by using O'Donnell's logic we have a secret dark side to masturbation:

IF $Masturbating =$ $Committing$ $Adultery$ AND $Being$ $Gay$ ~~in the Military~~ $=$ $Committing$ $Adultery$ ~~in the Military~~ THEN by the transitive property of gut power $Masturbating = <math>Being$ $Gay$

This could only mean one thing, Stephen Colbert is gay married to his hand!! He has been doing it with a dude all along!!! Stephen Colbert fell on the liburals' trap!!! Damn you gays, you got him!!!

Oh, and one more thingEdit

Never look at suggestive images, that makes resisting the bating almost impossible. (But at least there was no sex!)

Tea Bagging AgendaEdit

Jubs: She will bring new jubs to her State, starting with herself!
Education for Real Americans only
No More Sex
No More Bailouts
Restore Christian Morality to America Joos, you are on your own "Anne Frank is on the third floor in a room behind the bookcase."
Destroy the Libural Media
Cut funds for ~~a cure to AIDS~~ Gay Fads
Destroy the RINOs
Evolution Schmevolution
Bring Back Creationism to the classroom
Eliminate Laziness
to finally put Bill Clinton behind bars
Stop the mutated mice army
Arrest the sun for sexual molestation
Outlaw Magic. Harry Potter, you are on Notice!
No More Czars
To solve the Gay Issue, America must become Asexual
Save our Churches from The Big Communist Government
Impeach the Activist Judges in the Supreme Court

Help, the Monkey & Mice Army is here!!!!!

BFFsEdit

~~Pamela Geller~~ Dead to us.

HatersEdit

wow, Christine really did let herself go

Has-been hippie gay-loving traitor
~~Her lesbo sister~~ she is dead to her...
Teh Gey traitor
FiveThirtyEight
Pro-masturbators
Meghan McCain
~~WDEL1150AM~~ We are going to sue you, buddy! You think we wont? We need the money!

This video shows an unflattering representation of Christine O'Donnell.
She needs to sue O'Donnell to stop her from giving interviews in the future!

Official TubesEdit

~~Bio~~
All you wanted to know about Christine but you were too libural to ask
Christine to change her name to The Younger Sarah Palin
Her father was Bozon The Clown! She can help us fight the mime menace!
The Misadventures of Christine
Christine O'Donnell is a Gutstitutional Scholar

Christine O'Donnell: Gutstitutional SkoolarEdit

Christine O'Donnell will debate Chris Coons
on the repealing of the entitlement program
known as the 13th Amendment

Christine O'Donnell has study the Constitution for ~~many decades years months weeks days hours minutes~~ a long time and she has a proper grasp and understanding of the spirit of the Constitution than the Democrats. Her debate at Widener University Law School impressed a lot of legal scholars and law students that at the end of the debate, they left the auditorium in tears and cheers. They were so impressed with her knowledge of the Constitution that even the media cant help but talk about it too!

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;"

See, nowhere does it says "Separation of Church and State", nowhere!

Christine O'Donnell has promised that she will protect the 14 Commandments of the Gutstitution when she wins.

Constitutional Scholar Rush Limbaugh agrees with O'Donnell. Silly Democrats and Anderson Cooper...

Christine Wins Debate! Congratulations, Senator[5]

Gutstitutional Update!Edit

Christine O'Donnell has recently declared that Freedom of the Press is not in the Gutstitution. It says "the freedom of speech, or of the press", not Freedom of the Press!! Gutstitutional scholars believe this evidence enough to ban the liberal media and anyone who refuses to follow the new law will be imprisoned!

Edjukashun:Edit

~~Yale University~~
~~University of Oxford~~
~~Claremont Graduate University~~
~~Princeton University~~
Fairleigh Dickingson University
Grifter University
Glenn Beck's University
Tea Bagging University
Colbert University
Stephen Colbert "University"
Clown College

...look she has a diploma... right?...

Likes:Edit

Meatballs

Dislikes:Edit

Vegans

Campaign News:Edit

2010-10-22-Odonnell2 — Power, powerful stuff
Added by Mutopis

Chris Coons swears allegiance to mice!

Moar Moneys, Please!!!!! I dont wanna go back to eating ramen!!!
Christine O'Donnell's Plan B to win election

The Christine O'Donnell Savings Account Campaign Fund:Edit

$15,000 goes missing from Warchest Christine promises to find missing money.
~~O'Donnell announces 30 minutes ad~~ IT WAS NOT AN EPIC FAIL, WE CAN STILL DO IT![6]
Christine O'Donnell helped to stimulate Delaware's economy
Christine O'Donnell depressed, unused piles of money just sitting there with no place to go.
Leave Christine alone! This is nothing but a Witch Hunt!

Victory!Edit

Victory Party Tonight Mofos!!!!!

Christine O'Donnell Declares Victory:
I WON, M#THR F#CKERS!!!

The FutureEdit

When we asked O'Donnell what she would do next, this is what she shouted, "Fox News and Big Bucks Here I come!"

Sadly for some reason, Fox News has declared they cannot hire Christine O'Donnell.

The Future Part IIEdit

If anyone has a gig for Christine O'Donnell, just send it to us by mail at: 666 Blackroad Hill, Witchcraft Mount, Delaware 66613. Send us anything, she is willing to do any gig, you know like speeches, magic tricks for the kids, curses against unfaithful lovers. We take anything... and I mean anything!

The Future Part IIIEdit

To reiterate, Christine O'Donnell is ~~desperate~~ open for negotiations for any kind of jubs! Buy her book!

Christine O'Donnell's New Book: If I was a Witch[7]Edit

WITCHCRAFT ORGANIZATION PRAISES O'DONNELL'S MEMOIR

SALEM, MA - Massachusetts-based Witches United had kudos for "Troublemaker," Christine O'Donnell's recently published memoir. Wink Hazeldale, spokesman for the non-profit organization, praised the work as "spellbinding" and a "cauldron of ideas." According to Hazeldale, Witches United offered to provide a cover blurb, but O'Donnell's familiars informed them the book had already gone to press.

When asked for his reaction to O'Donnell's controversial 2008 "I am not a witch" campaign ad, Hazeldale said, "Who can blame her? It was a witch hunt. We've all denied our true nature publicly at one time or another. It's either that or risk having a house fall on us." He said he and his associates greatly admired the failed Senate candidate "warts and all."

Commenting on the current field of GOP candidates, Hazeldale said they were "in complete harmony and alignment with Witches United's basic mission, purpose and beliefs." His organization is "extremely comfortable" with the GOP, he said. "Except for Bachmann. That one scares the devil out of us. It's those crazy eyes of hers."[8]

TodayEdit

Christine O'Donnell hasn't given up her dreams, she is already amassing a new fortune to run in the future, once she discovers the secrets of the philosopher stone to fill up her coffers.

External TubesEdit

Christine O'Donnell
is the "Nice" Girl Next Door That Your Mother Talked About

She is The Only Real American Women For You!

What went wrong:
Her magic wasnt strong enough