Christian High School Groups

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

Christian High School Groups are the last and final way American students will be able to worship The Baby Jesus during school hours--like it says in The Bible!

Every school in America must have at least one extra-curricular group that spends school hours reading The Bible!

Contents 1 Does Your School Need A Christian Group? 2 How To Start A Christian Group At Your School 3 How to Choose A Name For Your Group 3.1 Type 1 3.2 Type 2 3.3 Type 3 3.4 Type 4 3.5 Words To Avoid 4 Sample Names

[edit] Does Your School Need A Christian Group?

• Do you live in an area where people can read?
• Do some of those people give money to the poor?
• Do those same people insist they have the right to "protest"?
• Does FOX call those people liberals?

Then your school needs a Christian group to help you pray loud enough to drown out their drug-induced mumblings.

[edit] How To Start A Christian Group At Your School

• Tell everyone at your church that your school won't let you have a Bible Study Group
• Call your local media and tell them your school won't let you pray to The Baby Jesus
• Go to your school's football, basketball or other sporting event and start praying really, really loud
• When the media comes to interview you about why your school won't let you live in the Light of Our Lord and Savior, start crying

[edit] How to Choose A Name For Your Group

There are several general types of names for Christian High School Groups:

1. names that describe what the group does for Our Lord and Savior
2. names that belittle people who don't behave in the same manner as The Baby Jesus (and the people in your group)
3. names that remind others how you are better than they are

[edit] Type 1

• your group contains His Holy Name
• your group describes what you will do in His Holy Name

[edit] Type 2

• your group name contains the initials "WWJ"

[edit] Type 3

• your group name follows the "We Are, You're Not" formula
• your group name contains the "why-people-who-aren't-in-our-group-suck" corollary

[edit] Type 4

• your group name contains the name of a more established group that supports you (or is the majority of your members)

[edit] Words To Avoid

• Xtian
• Peace
• Tolerance
• Charity
• Poverty

[edit] Sample Names

• We Are Going To Heaven, And You're Not
• We Don't Suck Like The Chess Club
• Klansmen for Jesus