Chicago
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Chicago is the City of Jesus, therefore Stephen loves Chicago. It is in Illinois, the state which is where Lincoln and Oprah are from. The city is home to many sports teams including the White Sox, the Cubs, the Bulls, and the Bears. The soccer team doesn't matter because soccer is for foreigners and foreigners are Democrats. Chicago is predominately Catholic, so is Dr. Colbert, therefore it is good. Chicago was a candidate for the 2016 Olympics, but the failed Obama administration couldn't even muster enough balls to persuade the selection committee, who are (and this is the sad part) Danish. The good citizens of Chicago have taken this failure in stride, however, and gone back to their time-honored traditions of sucking at baseball and eating themselves to death.
