Chewbacca
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Chewbacca is a heroic mutant bear from Canada. Even though he is a mindless killing machine, he mindlessly kills liberals, making him a good guy.
Contents |
[edit] Early Life
Chewbacca was concieved by an American woman and a Canadian grizzly bear in 1865, though many believe he is from the middle east due to his extreme hair content. Even though his father was a bear, it seemed that he got his mother's patriotism, and broke free from the clan of killer bears, joining the righteous crusade of Abraham Lincoln against the sleazy, corrupt hillbilly liberals of the C.S.A.
[edit] In a Galaxy Far, Far Away
Later, after traveling to Star Wars and meeting Obi-Wan Kenobi, Chewbacca fended off a bear attack on Coruscant, driving them back to Earth. In a climactic battle, he defeated The combined bear forces of Karl Marx, Nancy Pelosi, Josef Stalin, Donald Duck, Stanley Kubrick and Winnie the Pooh in Italy, the most recent addition to the Axis of Evil, thereby defeating the Communist threat of that country.
[edit] His Continuing Mission
He continues to work for the CIA, protecting the President from bears, waiting until the Galaxy needs his help again...
[edit] Learning Wookiee
Chewbacca speaks a special bear dialect called Shyriiwook or Wookie. Here are some Wookiee phrases translated into American for your listening pleasure:
| "Wookiee/American Translation" | |
|---|---|
| Wookiee Phrase | |
| ACWOANANOO! | Hello! |
| ORRACACROROROOR WWHUANANRO CHUAKAKOORCAOC RASCWORCAHOARA'C OHRARC OOWW AOWORCRCOORC. | Kashyyyk fully supports America's War of Terror. |
