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Charlie Crist

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Truthiness award3
Truthiness award3

Charlie Crist won a Wikiality.com 2006 "Truthie"
for Best Found Image Of The Year

Click here to view it in its award-winning state.
OrangeJumpsuit
SWATTeam
Charlie Crist
is a Traitor
And will soon feel the wrath of a vengeful Baby Jesus.
Al Franken
AnimatedCommieFlag
Charlie Crist has earned
the (Senator) Franken COMMUNIST-SOCIALIST-MARXIST SEAL OF APPROVAL
Crist-foley
Charlie Crist (left), who is "single", loves Mark Foley (right), who is also "single".Truthiness award3
Sea robAdded by Sea rob

Charlie Crist is a Republican independent Democrat who used to be the Governor of Florida.

Crist is a snappy dresser. Very snappy. Almost as snappy as his friend Mark Foley, who he barely even knows.

Succeeds Florida's Greatest Governor EverEdit

Crist, a "divorcee," succeeded Gov. Jeb Bush, who was the Best Governor Ever! in Florida but was forced to leave office because of term limits which are a just a big plot by Democrats to steal away the Majority from Real Americans. Charlie Crist ensured that it happen that way.

Bush is married to an attractive woman and has a family of several lovely "brown children" (according to their grandfather).

Charlie sure is a snappy dresser like all the gays. When he was only a Republican because he met his secret gay lover Mark Foley at beach parties Republican Party events.

He has also expressed huge support for Obama's stimulus "package".

Snubbing the Greatest President EverEdit

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Girl, you need to stop...Miss Mr. Crist debating issues

On the Monday before election day in 2006, Crist (who is single) declined an invitation from the Greatest President Ever to attend a big rally that Karl Rove had set up for the candidate.

Doesn't know "Jason"Edit

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Crist's other gay lover "Jason." (Whoa!, what a hottie!)
Sea robAdded by Sea rob

Crist doesn't know that cute kid who may or may not have said all those shocking things about him. Never met the kid. Mark Foley is his real gay lover.

At the last moment in the campaign to cover it all up, Crist announced that he is now in favor of a Marriage Protection Amendment and didn't really mean any of that stuff he said before about supporting "Civil Unions".

He said he might have "shaken his hand" (wink2/nudge2) once or twice, but "can't really place the name."

"I mean..." the candidate added, "All those gay bois on AOL chat are named 'Jason'. Or 'Scott'. Or 'Ben Dover'. Or 'FernandoMuyGrande.' Or 'Naughty Pupil.' Or 'Marine Corps Physical.'" I don't know any of them."

The candidate quickly added, "At least that's what I've been told. I've never seen an AOL chat room. Never."


Supporters gather for victoryEdit

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Staff members (above) relax after a long, intense, pounding campaign. Supporters mingle, wait for results to come
Sea robAdded by Sea rob

Despite the last minute snafus in a long, hard, frenetic campaign, supporters (many of them remarkably athletic) of the former Attorney General were confident that he would pull out on election night.

They gathered under a canvas tent hastily erected to beat back the unseasonable heat. The throbbing beat of house music at a South Beach resort accompanied the throng awaiting each trickle of the vote count.

The confidence and excitement of the crowd never shrank. They showed stiff resolve even when some results were deflating.

Crist-aides
Young Crist aides admire candidate's stamina
Sea robAdded by Sea rob

"We have to keep it up for The Candidate," said one attractive young aide. "Charlie never gave up. There was never even a hint that he would pull out. It just wasn't the right time. The Candidate just kept pounding on the issues at every campaign stop. He was relentless. Re-lent-less!"

Another aide, hanging on his shoulder (to hear every word) added, "The Candidate gave a totally deep, penetrating, hard-hitting analysis of the issues facing our state. We hit on every corner and bulge of the state. The Candidate was unstoppable. Outstanding! Fabulous!"

Cruised to victoryEdit

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Exit polls showed that Crist got significant support from Florida's retirees, like this (government handout mooching) couple waiting for their socialist transportation "aka: Bus" to take them to their polling place

The throngs at the election night victory party buzzed as results began spurting in. The crystalline sun had just barely set in the west when the call was made at the night's climax: Crist is in!

The crowd exploded in cheers, a few grunts, and a rhythmic chant of "Char--LIE! Char--LIE!"

Some were so excited that they fell to the ground in groups of two, three, or four, writhing in joy at the thrilling outcome. A congratulatory cigarette topped off the evening. Custodial employees the following day swept up dozens of small, colorful, ribbed balloons, which had apparently failed to properly inflate.

Senate RunEdit

Charlie attempted to run for the U.S. Senate in 2010, but he could not beat Tea Party darling Marco Rubio and turned into the traitor he is today and run as an independent.

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