I am Carl Paladino and my lawyer swears I'm not a

HIDE THE WATERMELONS!!!
Carl Paladino
IS ONE HORNY BASTARD.

Carl Paladino is a reknowned Tea Bagger
and won't stop tea bagging
until all Americans are Tea Bagging together!

Carl Paladino is a rich Tea Bagger who is in no way into donkey porn.

Family ValuesEdit

Like many Republican Tea Baggers, Paladino is a strong supporter of family values and he refuses to allow the gay agenda to poison and corrupt his beloved children. What kind of world allows sexual degenerates to flaunt their depravity openly?

War Against PornographyEdit

We must stop pandering to the pornographers and the perverts who seek to target our children and destroy their lives…

Carl Paladino is famous as a moral crusader and fighter against anything pornographic, the reason that you will find porn on his computer is that that's evidence that he is collecting to arrest these perverts.

Paladino's Message of AngerEdit

While not as effective as fear, anger does wonders for the soul. The majority of the public that was polled agrees in unison, Paladino is scary-angry.

External TubesEdit

Despite what you may have heard
Carl Paladino
Is totally not racist!

• Tea Bagger support incest
• Gay Marriage leads to incest
• Carl Paladino to use magic 9/11 ashes to keep evil mooslims away
• haterz gonna hate
• Carl Paladino to send Thank You Letters to his supporters
• Paladino promises wont kill teh geys if he wins
• Gay lifestyle is a sin but gay money is still money
• Carl Paladino loses the joowish vote
• Fine, he doesnt need your joo-vote anyway
• Libural money continues to corrupt our children
• Carl Paladino: Cuomo is no friend of Teh Geys. Vote for Me
• The Media continues smear campaign against Paladino
• No love for Paladino
• Carl Paladino pandering to the minority vote
• 9 out of 10 little girls have a libural bias
• Carl Paladino to spend more time hunting down teh geys
• Carl Paladino to run next election with a friend