Canadian Conspiracy
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
The Canadian Conspiracy, similar to the Jewish Conspiracy, is the speculation that Canadians are taking over the United States of America. Not many Americans, except a few comedians, have ever expected such a move, by their friend and ally, Canada. While America is still working on it's "Manifest Destiny", it hasn't taken enough time to notice the rampant Anti-Americanism and the Canadians own "Manifest Destiny", beginning as a small amount of land and growing to the second largest country on the planet, without war. The Canadians have shown how easy it is to acquire land using their strategies.
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[edit] Takeover of the Media
Currently, the takeover of the American Media, in every possible form, has already been done.
The top bands Americans listen to nowadays are Canadian. The news they watch is controlled by Canadians.
The shows they watch is filled with references to Canada. Example, the producers of South Park and many of the actors, even though having an Anti-Canadian film, note that is actually an attack on America, and that many of the people who work with South Park are actually Canadian. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have said "We love Canada!". The Simpsons, the biggest cartoon show on the planet, is the greatest example of the takeover. Homer Simpson is based off a Canadian. Canadian references are everywhere. In fact, Springfield could be actually based off the Canadian City "Ajax" in Ontario.
Over 20% of Hollywood is now Canadian. For example, the highest paid actor, and the funniest man on the planet, a proud Canadian and Toronto Maple Leafs fan, Jim Carrey, is a Canadian. Big hit rock bands, like Nickelback, make the top of America's charts and control.
[edit] Anti-Americanism in Canada
Canadians are known for being the worlds first Anti-Americans.
When the Americans revolted in 1776 against Britain, the Canadians were strongly opposed. And after 5 failed invasion attempts by America, Canadians haven't been so happy with their neighbour, even though the last invasion attempt was almost 200 years ago.
The Liberal Media also has allowed the acceptance of Anti-Americanism hate among the Canadian population. Canadians are a polite people, but many feel that America is a threat to their country and hate Americans for this.
[edit] Canadians and Intelligence
America doesn't really look into it, but America is infested with Loyalist Canadian Spies. They can act just like Americans, and can get rid of the slightly different accent is easy.
In fact, thousands upon thousands of Canadians infiltrate the United States every winter. These special Canadian spies "vacation" in the United States during the Canadian Winters. Their codename is "Snowbirds". They gather information during the winters and then return to Toronto, Canada's Capital, and the soon-to-be-Centre of the world in the Spring.
[edit] How they will do it
Almost 90% of Canadians live right on the United States border. This could make for an easy attack on the Northern States and provide a great defence. Canadians are passionate nationalists and many would die for their country, no matter who they are. In Canada, a Canadian Liberal would fight for Canada as much as a Conservative.
Simply, because they run the American propaganda machine (the media), they can simply lie to the United States citizens undetected, claiming nothing is wrong and brainwashing the American people. This would allow the Canadians to get ahead very easily.
The first assault would be on Alaska. Canadians have been bitter with Alaska ever since they lost some land to the USA almost 100 years ago. They would invade and occupy "The Alaskan Panhandle" and re-claim once Canadian land.
Then the Canadians who control the American economy, would crush it.
This would turn America into a easy-to-dominate land. The Canadians would overthrow the American government and take the New Land as theirs, renaming America "Canada Jr.", a common nickname used for the United States by Canadian citizens. North America will turn into CanadaLand and we will tap all your trees for maple syrup.
Funny but,Canada never owned Alaska. Russia did.
[edit] Why
Canadians have always wanted the United States and severely disliked it. Many have planned to take over the United States. Kids grow up in Anti-American schools, watch Anti-American television and have Anti-American politicians.
It's only a matter of time before they strike, but it's too late to stop them anyway.
[edit] Why it's the Canadians telling you this
We've been taking over for so long and not one conspiracy theorist ever suspected the Canadians. We just felt it would be a fun idea to admit to the takeover, since we have such a hold on America currently, that it would be impossible for you to stop it now anyway. Try to resist as you might, but good luck, because their is nothing you can do anymore. Nothing. Canada, has taken over, eh?
[edit] Secret to Stopping the Canadian Conspiracy Maybe
Canada's Phone Number:
1-800-O-CANADA (1-800-622-6232)
Call them and pull the following prank call: YOU: Your cat is on my fence. CANADA: I don't have a cat. YOU: Well, I don't have a fence.
Then hang up. Let's get the entire nation prank calling Canada until it gets a cat!
