Black Haired Guy Who is Not Brown Haired Guy Who Is Not Steve Doocey is one of the chair fillers hard-hitting newsmen who fluff assist Steve Doocy on Fox and Friends. He often uses the porn name "Brian Kilmeade".

In 2007 Black Haired Guy Who is Not Brown Haired Guy Who Is Not Steve Doocey said of the costume worn by Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeannie "that sexy outfit, traumatized me as a child…”.[1]

He also claims to be married and have two daughters.

As a white Irish guy who lives in Connecticut, he has an unique, scientific understanding of the ethnics. Thanks to him, America is now on to the little known scientific fact that interracial marriage will destroy America. During his studies, he has also learned that "while not all Muslims are terrorists, all terrorists are Muslims."

He is currently working on his doctorate in Truthiness. His thesis will examine the medical benefits of breathing exclusively through one's mouth.