Batman
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Batman is called upon using the "Bat Signal". Why he can't just use a cell phone like a normal person, I will never understand.
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[edit] Batman Facts
The Joker is Batman's arch-nemesis.
- Batman's photographer, billionaire Bruce Wayne, is close friends with The Greatest President.
- The fictional character Bruce Wayne is actually based on America's first billionaire Howard Hughes.
- Stephen Colbert once said, "For one reason or the other, Vice President Dick Cheney and Batman are never seen in the same place, at the same time... *wink*"
- More recently Glenn Beck made the case that Batman maybe more...presidential. [1]
- The Batmobile is rumored to be fueled by blubber from the rare blue whale.
- The Joker, Batman's nemesis, is a registered Democrat, (with a gay fixation on the craped crusader) who hates the troops.
- At one point in his career, Batman suffered a spinal cord injury. Had it not been for Tom Cruise's special vitamin therapy, which fixed up Batman in no time, Batman would still be a useless lump of ex-crimefighter. This is why Batman endorses our Greatest President's outlawing of Stem cell research. Thank you, Tom Cruise!
- Batman can neutralize entire armies, having received all of his training from none other than Stephen Colbert ... Watch out liberals, You don't stand a chance.
- In the most recent documentary about his life, Batman can be seen beating up a queer clown.
- Batman is Catholic. Oh come on, just look at him! Isn't it obvious he's got the worst case of Catholic guilt in history?
[edit] Rumors
- For a period of time, Stephen Colbert was rumored to be impersonating Batman, instead of that British geek Christian Bale. Bale had suffered from post-Colbertism syndrom: People who think they may challenge Colbert but realize they don't have the guts to do it.
- Dick Cheney was cast to interpret the Penguin. Unfortunately, Cheney had a schedule conflict and had to become Vice-President of the most powerful nation in the history of the Universe.
- The Jew-run liberal media keeps spreading rumours that Batman has a gay relationship with his faithful sidekick, Robin. This is nothing but a lie; Batman merely sends The Boy Wonder the occasional instant message asking about such innocuous topics as his plans for the weekend, what he wants for his birthday, and whether he is circumcised.
- Batman was once reported voting Democrat, but this is patently false. A man who dresses up every night and fights crime is definitely a Republican.
[edit] Similarities Between The Batman And The Greatest President Ever
According to Fox News owner Rupert Murdock, the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight, is really an homage to The Greatest President Ever.
