The Baby Jesus

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DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

...The Baby Jesus wasn't actually a baby but a very hairy pedophile the Filthy Americans worship

Two hundred years ago a creepy pedophile named America became a physical entity called by Non-Americans, The Bastard. To Filthy Americans it is known as Baby Jesus because of their selfish and self-righteous beliefs. Thanks to mother England, Father Russia and Homo-Sexual Uncles Antartica and Arctic, The Bastard was contained in filthy USA protected by the Great Snowy Canada and the Great Sunny Mexico.

Today The Bastard is significantly less heard about as it is not longer a threat to the rest of the world. In Europe they set up a Laser inside the Garden of Babylon (Its underground) to contain the bastard in a state of constant flux. The Bastard is hated by many and apparently makes an annoying sound when people do non-American things which pisses off the Americans and pleases the rest of the world. The Bastard is an Albino (sorry Albino people you guys are still cool) with Piss Yellow and Medium Purple ear hair which it uses as a wig for its body.

Mock that BastardEdit

Never let the chance to mock the Filthy American or The Bastard pass otherwise you will be smited by Ridley. Ridley really hates The Bastard who Americans believe is some sort of God which is stupid because the word God hasn't existed for 20,000 years. Contrary to American lies, The Bastard is incredibley dangerous to filthy Americans but is not a hazard to the rest of the world, just an nuisance.

"The Bastard is a horrible abomination avoid contact at all costs, do not fear your human curiosity there are no images of The Bastard"
~ Anyone who isn't a Filthy American
European, Canadian, Mexican, Mediterranean, South American, African, Asian, Australasian


  • The Bastard shits some American "food" anyone who eats it will become American, sorry if that's you
  • Due to American lies, The Bastard is supposedly the son of our lord and saviour Gaben which is impossible since Gaben can't reproduce he is everything.
  • The Bastard unfortunately doesn't age however when the Americano Bomb goes off it will die. YAY!
  • The Bastard like many Americans owns a gun, its really stupid because with no crime in the rest of the world the gun has long since become obsolete.
  • The Bastard can't learn and is too American to bother trying
  • Sleeps in a ditch on the side of 56th Street in a mud and rat bath.
  • No one cares about The Bastard's favorite Movies or Music
  • It does not sleep it just stares with those retarded eyes, seriously filthy America is so fucking pathetic

Adult Life Edit

See Also Edit

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