Ashley Todd
is a Proud Republican Goddess
God Bless America

Miss Ashley Todd is a real American who was the helpless victim of a brutal attack by a big black Obama supporter hell-bent on registering fictional cartoon characters to vote and terrorizing innocent, young, white Pro-America girls in the deepest neighborhoods of Pittsburgh under the darkest cover of night.

BackgroundEdit

The Brutal, Brutal AttackEdit

The attack began on October 22, 2008, 11 days after 10/11, and continued until October 24, 2008, when Ashley was able to get some police protection. Only FOX and Drudge accurately reported the facts. The Liberal Media suppressed it.

The Robbery Of A Helpless, Young White GirlEdit

The big, black man, 6'4" without his turban on, has confessed to Arab roots in Kenya and his shared Islamo-fascist name of Hussein, but only after spending the weekend at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba under interrogation directed by the intelligence of John McCain.

The Graphic Sexual Molestation Of A Helpless, Young White GirlEdit

The account according with Miss Ashley Todd:

Well, the Big Black Man ████ ▉▉██ me. But it wasn't good enough, so the Big Black Man █▊▊██ and then █ ▉ and then ██ ██ ▉█ ▉█-▉█▊ I mean he was soooooooooooooo BIG... ▋██ █████ but that wasn't the worst part, the worst part was ▊███, ██ ▊█, ██ ▊▊█ and ██ ▉ ██▉!

The Savage Beating Of A Helpless, Young White GirlEdit

DUE TO THE GRAPHIC NATURE OF THIS EVENT, WE HAVE DECIDED THAT ANY DESCRIPTION OF THE INCIDENT WOULD BE TOO TRAUMATIZING TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC, INSTEAD LOOK AT THE PICTURE OF THIS KITTEN!!!

Charges Filed Against The Blackest African PerpetratorsEdit

Pittsburgh police have yet to find these savage criminals and the city has been placed on under martial law at least until election day, November 4, 2008.

Black neighborhoods, where the gang is believed to be hiding out, are under 24 hour watch and every suspect will be searched repeatedly until police are satisfied.

Following a tip, police in Anaheim, California questioned a suspect, but the man was released after his accidental lead poisoning death.

Ashley's FutureEdit

See AlsoEdit

• Ronald Goetsch
• Sarah Palin
• Samantha Bee

External TubesEdit

• Wonkette
• The Smoking Gun
• Chicago Tribune story #1, story #2
• Help!! Imaginary black people kidnapped my daughter!! (We suspect these are the same black people that assaulted poor Ashley Todd)